Songs to Solomon

Songs to Solomon

A Poem by Laura Lynn


Silk is a thread, a fine line
After you have them, taken
Like it was yesterday, nothing
Is too far away from the genders,
Kites have genres too, men
Slaved away for their women
And you, who are wondrous
Like every miraculous vanity,
It isn't a reflection I relish,
Mucked about, I am mud
Always, one of three toads

© 2015 Laura Lynn

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register


I really liked this poem, nothing is off.. everything is as it should be... excellent job.

Posted 7 Years Ago

I give critiques. If this offends you, PM me and I'll take it down.

You are going everywhere. It's too confusing, you switch subjects almost every stanza. For example, the second stanze refers to "them", which means it cannot be speaking of the thread in line 1.
Third stanza is way out there.

"Kites have genres too," - maybe 'genders too'?

"wondrous" - wonderous. There's an 'e' in there.

last two stanzas are seemingly off topic as well.

Overall, feels almost like a piece bent around feeling, not meaning. Possibly about the hopelessness of reaching something too wonderful for you?
Tthis could easily become something amazing, and you can see the style visibly as well. Good job on this, thanks for sharing.
Keep writing, it can only get better!

Posted 7 Years Ago

Share This
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


2 Reviews
Added on December 13, 2015
Last Updated on December 13, 2015


Laura Lynn
Laura Lynn

Fairfax, VA

I like writing. I don't know what else to say. This has been a great website to share works in progress, some which I have abandoned some which I loose to myself and enjoy writing most of all. It'.. more..

Arrival Arrival

A Poem by Laura Lynn