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Hollow Soul

Hollow Soul

A Poem by Ethale Captor

I tend to be so indecisive.


I don't want to leave

I want to stay here

I don't want to deceive

I want to be free


I can see freedom just ahead

Just have to wait for October

If I can hold it all together

This nightmare will all be over


I see the light of opportunity

But when I arise, I feel the chains

I don't know what's holding me here

Not memories, or emotions, or even names


I want to stay here where I do not belong

But I cannot bear the pain of loneliness

I cannot leave this place I wish to belong to

But it is slowly killing me from the inside out


Lack of the sense of home has driven me insane

I can no longer feel at peace here because I've forgotten

I've long since forgotten how to feel anything but the cold

I feel only the pain of the world I'm trapped in


I'm hollow on the inside and hard on the outside

These spoken of emotions like love only drain me

I crave to feel these emotions that hurt so much

But only in others are these emotions I see


Bound in a mental world of anguish and cold stares

I fight with everything I've got just to live another day

The rope, or even the knife, is so very tempting

I pass up the perfect escape weapons only to suffer longer


You cannot fix me, I am not broken

My heart aches for something beyond my world

Something not torn by emptiness and self hate

Something I feel I no longer deserve


Hate just is not the correct term for this feeling

But more of a hidden detest for my very existence

I feel it from everyone at some point in time

It's why between this place and myself I put distance


I don't want to leave

But I cannot bear to stay

Whether I'll fight long enough to overcome this decision

I, sadly, cannot say


I'll always hurt, it's just a fact

I'll never feel love, never

I'm going to die, another fact

But a hollow soul will remain here forever

And ever

And ever

© 2012 Ethale Captor

Author's Note

Ethale Captor
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this is so sad, but well its true... for many people

Posted 9 Years Ago

I see the light of oppurtunity.
A nice write.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Ethale Captor

9 Years Ago

Thank You.
Sami Khalil

9 Years Ago

You are welcome.

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2 Reviews
Added on November 12, 2012
Last Updated on November 12, 2012
Tags: Indecisive, Hollow, Soul, Ethale, Captor, BlakButterfly159


Ethale Captor
Ethale Captor

Laurel, MS

An Artist of All Trades, I am a writer, particularly a poet, a martial artist, and a visual artist. If you are here reading my works, I humbly thank you. Fill free to read and review my pieces. more..

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