Hollow Soul

I tend to be so indecisive.

I don't want to leave

I want to stay here

I don't want to deceive

I want to be free

 

I can see freedom just ahead

Just have to wait for October

If I can hold it all together

This nightmare will all be over

 

I see the light of opportunity

But when I arise, I feel the chains

I don't know what's holding me here

Not memories, or emotions, or even names

 

I want to stay here where I do not belong

But I cannot bear the pain of loneliness

I cannot leave this place I wish to belong to

But it is slowly killing me from the inside out

 

Lack of the sense of home has driven me insane

I can no longer feel at peace here because I've forgotten

I've long since forgotten how to feel anything but the cold

I feel only the pain of the world I'm trapped in

 

I'm hollow on the inside and hard on the outside

These spoken of emotions like love only drain me

I crave to feel these emotions that hurt so much

But only in others are these emotions I see

 

Bound in a mental world of anguish and cold stares

I fight with everything I've got just to live another day

The rope, or even the knife, is so very tempting

I pass up the perfect escape weapons only to suffer longer

 

You cannot fix me, I am not broken

My heart aches for something beyond my world

Something not torn by emptiness and self hate

Something I feel I no longer deserve

 

Hate just is not the correct term for this feeling

But more of a hidden detest for my very existence

I feel it from everyone at some point in time

It's why between this place and myself I put distance

 

I don't want to leave

But I cannot bear to stay

Whether I'll fight long enough to overcome this decision

I, sadly, cannot say

 

I'll always hurt, it's just a fact

I'll never feel love, never

I'm going to die, another fact

But a hollow soul will remain here forever

And ever

And ever

Author's Note

Review and rate, if you like.

Reviews

[marie]

this is so sad, but well its true... for many people

[Sami Khalil]

I see the light of oppurtunity.
A nice write.

[Ethale Captor]

Thank You.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome.