Prologue

Prologue

A Chapter by Madelyn Defray
"

The night of Death's first reaper being born

"

Prologue

                Death cradled the small infant in his arms. His features were delicate and beautiful, but never before had death ever looked into a pair eyes so startling. They were the most peculiar shade of green he had ever seen. The witch doctor crawled on her knees to where he sat near the blazing fire. She murmured softly in the ancient language- blessing the child. The baby squirmed in death’s embrace as an unearthly glow developed around the three of them. It shone bright like a soundless explosion before dying away just as quickly.

                “You will keep him safe,” said death. “No one is to know where it is he is hidden. Can you promise me that?”

                Lovingly the witch doctor stroked his weathered cheek. Death turned away from the striking gaze of the child to stare gravely into the eyes of the woman before him. Her expression was that of anguish but she nodded mutely.

                “I will come for him when the time is right, but no sooner.”

                The witch doctor bowed her head and lifted her arms as a gesture of obedience. Death gently placed the baby in her hands and made to depart, but she stopped him.

                “Why, Arthur? What is his use to you? Why create him only to abandon him?” she asked.

                Arthur stood in a fluid motion. He turned his head, unable to face the scene he was about to leave behind. Reaching down he grabbed a log and tossed it into the hearth. Sparks erupted from the flames as the fresh kindling ignited. The room, casted in shadows, felt smaller- almost suffocating as she stared holes into his back. Thoughtlessly he leafed through books that lay open on the mantle. With a tired sigh he briskly crossed the room and opened the door.

                “There are those who choose to defy death, Gabriella. Servants of the ancient blood are needed now more than ever,” death confessed. “Zander will be the first of many. It will be his job to find and awaken them.”

                With those being his final words he disappeared into the night. The witch doctor Gabriella, though now aware of the sever truths of the future still offered a faint smile to the baby.

                “He cared enough to name you, my sweet Zander,” she whispered to the child who merely blinked his tired eyes.



© 2012 Madelyn Defray


Author's Note

Madelyn Defray
Please comment and critique, and of course enjoy!

My Review

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Featured Review

A couple grammatical errors which it would be shocking to not have. I like the concept so far. One thing that I think needs to be fixed. "Why, Arthur?" maybe it's just me but I immediately thought the baby's name was arthur, probably b/c up until then death had only been called death. I get the desire to introduce the name as a bit of a surprise or something like that and it works well, maybe a slightly different sentence to avoid idiots like me getting confused.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

As mentioned before, gramatical errors are apparent but not distracting. I very much enjoy the premise of the story thus far, its interesting and it has me wantig to find out more about what happens, so I think that may affect my judgement when I say I think you need to pad this out a little more. I mean the emotions from the way you write alone is enough to have anyone invested but I think that with some revisions you'll find that it could use some more descriptive details on some small things.

Posted 7 Years Ago


grammer issues i'll message them to you right now:) but i really do like the plot so far:) the dialogue seems a little forced but i'll give you a few suggestions to make it better:) i really like you idea though:) this should be a great book:))


Posted 7 Years Ago


I loved how you painted death. Such an inhuman being acting as though he was human. You changed Death's image in this piece! Spelling mistakes, but that about it. Nice job

Posted 7 Years Ago


A couple grammatical errors which it would be shocking to not have. I like the concept so far. One thing that I think needs to be fixed. "Why, Arthur?" maybe it's just me but I immediately thought the baby's name was arthur, probably b/c up until then death had only been called death. I get the desire to introduce the name as a bit of a surprise or something like that and it works well, maybe a slightly different sentence to avoid idiots like me getting confused.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nothing bad to mention. Death's lines are good. There are ideas in text. Death with name felt unusual, but that don't really matter. Will read next chapter to figure out what to say about storyline.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 6, 2012
Last Updated on July 6, 2012
Tags: death, dark, demon, vampire, werewolf, witches, warlocks, fight, blood, power, immortality, romance, young adult


Author

Madelyn Defray
Madelyn Defray

Narnia, The Wardrobe, Canada



About
I hate filling in the giant 'about me' information boxes because there really isn't anything special worth mentioning which of course leads to a blank box followed by the re-thinking of the sad, pathe.. more..

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