Chorus To Hell

This is the beginning of a little something i wrote when i was 14

Emotions . That’s what they fed off of.
Not all at once though, first its fear, and
then its regret, sadness then its happiness
and finally guilt. Guilt that makes you feel
like you have to go with them, straight back
to hell.
[ Present]
Gasping for air Raven held a nearby tree
trying to regain her strength. Besides the
coolness of the forest that brushed up against
her body, beads of sweat formed around her
forehead. The whole group had thrown
themselves around the area trying to catch
their breaths. Some on the ground and
some slumped over large rocks. "Why
don’t we just give up? I’m tired of
running and I know that someone is going
to die. And soon, soon all of us will be
dead!" Sammy cried. Dylan rubbed her
shoulder and softly said to her "don’t worry,
don’t worry no one is going to die anymore"
hope filled his eyes. He prayed to God
that he was right. The illuminating
darkness that covered the forest was
threatening. Dylan looked to the moon; it
was the only thing that seemed to shine
their way through this nightmare. He
prayed silently hoping that someone or
something would come and save them but
deep down he knew that no one was
coming. They were alone, no one to save
them but themselves.
"You can’t run for long!" a deep voice
boomed through the forest. "I am going
to find you and soon all of you will be
mine!" the deep voice chuckled. No one
knew where the voice was coming from.
It suffocated them. As if it was some
kind of demon. Raven stood up from
leaning against the tree and looked at the
five others. She saw fear grab hold of
their faces. She could see that Caleb,
Dylan and Samuel were trying to hold
up a brave face for the group, but fear was
evident on their faces. Silently, she
thought to herself, wait… there can’t be just
the five of us, we are seven. "Guys,
where is Loraine?" her voice trembled as
she spoke. Fearing the worst the group
went silent. Their eyes started to wander
around the deserted area hoping to find
her. They were out of luck and they
were all wondering where she had gone.
Suddenly a scream that shattered the
silence was heard from a distance. "Help
me!" she screamed louder. The screams
continued they identified that the voice
belonged to Loraine. Raven ran to
where the scream was coming from. As
she drew closer the screams abruptly went
silent. Raven slowed down and walked
carefully to where she thought the screams
were coming from. Her heart was
thumping in her ears. So many thoughts
were racing through her mind. She was
stuck between sleep and wake in a pendulum
of uncertainty she thought was
consciousness. Whilst she was looking
ahead, bewildered by her thoughts, she felt
something squishy underneath her foot.
She stopped and prayed it wasn’t what
she thought it was. She backed away
slowly and forced her eyes to the ground.
What she saw was worse than she
expected. What she saw was horrifying.
She was paralyzed with fear she tried to
scream but only a soft squeak escaped her
throat. Then she heard loud foot steps
behind her. She wanted to run away in
fear that it might be him but she was still
frozen in place. Her feet seemed to be
rooted onto the dusty ground beneath her.
The footsteps grew closer and closer.
Then they stopped. She turned her
head which seemed to be the only body part
that was still willing to function and she saw
who was behind her. She saw the
expression on Caleb’s face as he looked at
the mangled body that was Loraine’s.
Her eyes seemed to be staring at him, still
struck in fear. "S**t Raven! Look at
what they did to her! Look at what they
did to her! We’re all going to die!"

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems, what do you think of
the dialogue?