Broken

I showed you all of my soul and love

But you're forced to say "I love you too"

I cried like i'm in the sky above

Causing rain to my own soul, so blue

Your lies appeared like dark skies

To me whose love was all pure

I loved you, truly no lies

But you tore me without cure

You break me like your promises

I now lie in the bathroom floor

Picking up pieces of our memories

And all the things that I adored

I wept in the river down the hill

As I saw someone in the water

A girl, full of tears, and so ill

It was me, that just got slaughtered.

Author's Note

Note: The slaughtered in the last line was informal :)

Reviews

[Kevin Gerardo]

I feel your emotion when reading this poem. Very interesting!

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of words and thoughts leading to sad ending.
"You break me like your promises
I now lie in the bathroom floor
Picking up pieces of our memories
And all the things that I adored"
The above lines. Solid and direct. When we are slaughtered and left for dead. The dead must rise again. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Rebecca Garber]

I see this poem and refer back to myself. I thought the technique was good.

[Anjali]

Very well written, Christian. I am still clueless as to how some people play with the feelings of others (irrespective of gender)!
This poem reflects about the state of mind one goes through after trusting the wrong person.

[Mitch]

The pain of heat break can feel like death; anyone who has experienced that can attest to it. I felt the emotion your words.

[Chase Weik]

Loved how deep this poem was! You really have a gift for conveying emotion in your writing! Loved it, keep it up!!

[Emily]

Awesome first line!
Keep it up!!

[M.A.]

I like this write. I can not relate to the full extent of that much pain but you made me a a novice to such pain, understand and even feel the pain in this piece. My favorite lines are
A girl, full of tears, and so ill
It was me, that just got slaughtered.

Packed a lot of emotions in those lines. Thank you for sharing.

[JainieJane]

Wow, full of emotions...i know that pain.

[wordman]

feelings of break up.lies and deceit flows through your mind,tears falling like a river
great emotional write