The Wedding Shirt

The Wedding Shirt

A Poem by Leigh

Because there may be no tomorrow
This will be our wedding night
And you will wear a wedding shirt
We have had no time for marriage
As the world around has betrayed us

Standing before me in a haze of light
You look perfect in a veil of cotton
It's as if I have been given an angel
So come to our bed of love making
Before the war starts again tomorrow

© 2019 Leigh


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I liked this piece, you've done well with description and the lack of perfect rhyme scheme works well (imperfect rhyme eg night, shirt/fitting, making).
However, I feel the first line is a bit flat and vague. Yes, we all could die at any moment, but why is this persona so sure? Maybe some concrete detail here would help make this first line more grabbing. As later on you go on to say about the war, but you don't specify which war, one of the world wars, the gold war etc etc etc.
Maybe if you lengthened the piece it would be easier to understand, I'd like to know what war and time period it's in by what words you chose.
I love 'a haze of light'
But the next line is an incomplete line 'You look perfect in its ill-fitting...' ill fitting what? That is not a sentence.
I like the connection to religion and angels but you could just imply this with the symbolism of angel as God would then not need mentioning, or vice versa.
Good piece. I enjoyed reading it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Leigh

4 Years Ago

It's from For Whom the Bell Tolls (Spanish Civil War) you are right about the 'I'll-fitting line'.I .. read more



Reviews

Yes it was a bit like that then (WWII)

Posted 3 Months Ago


Looking at this piece from my point of view, I think it's talking to me in a particular dimension that seems like a critical advice.
It's ringing in my head and sounding in my heart that I have to seize every opportunity that I ever come across.
No wasting of time, no tardiness because that kind of chance may never come again.
Secondly, it's telling me that I have to do the right thing at the right time and never to procrastinate. No one ever know what encompasses tomorrow.

What a wonderful writing is this piece! Crying clear and loud to those who have ear.

Thanks for sharing this, Leigh.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Loved the open ended interpretation of this piece. There's a character in there which feels very real

Posted 5 Months Ago


You have written an age old story of going off to war and leaving a loved one behind never knowing if you will return. There is no time for a wedding but you words make it a special night together. My wifes grandfather went off to D Day and left a baby that he would never see.
Your poem shows how its the everyman that suffers.
Well done Leigh!
Alan

Posted 5 Months Ago


good write. very clever. reminds me of, “Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die.” hope it's not a shotgun wedding ... :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


Leigh

9 Months Ago

Ha ha, no - thanks
If Spanish Civil War then perhaps "cannonballs start again" to set the period. Sad we have to take time out of war to make time for love.

Posted 9 Months Ago


Leigh

9 Months Ago

It could be - thanks for that idea
Very honest. Images are pure and you avoid embellishment to keep it that way. The strength of romance and love is in simplicity.

Posted 11 Months Ago


Leigh

9 Months Ago

I agree in keeping it simple where possible
Very interesting poem. I enjoyed it. I guess it's better to rush things when things are going down c:

Posted 11 Months Ago


Could have been written by many a soldier going off to war and the uncertainty of returning - great write - I really liked the read ... :-)

Posted 1 Year Ago


A beautiful piece of art! Love how the poem melts into the reader's emotions.

Posted 1 Year Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1893 Views
32 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 13, 2015
Last Updated on October 20, 2019
Tags: War, tomorrow, wedding, shirt, angel, lovers, trapped, Marriage, death, uncertainty, loss, life, poetry, sacrifice, time, injustice

Author

Leigh
Leigh

Bristol, United Kingdom



Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Desired Elms Desired Elms

A Poem by Robert