The Tempest

I've always been a little messed up, and this was a quick poem I wrote after being inspired to write something after reading an excellent poem by my friend Holly Wakefield (Account name: Holly-marie)

I am calm at most times,
I sit and I stare,
and wonder of mountains,
and the wind in the air.

But there's something I feel,
deep under my skin,
that makes its appearance,
with a malevolent grin.

I feel it in battle,
or when there's no peace,
an endless malice,
that just will not sleep.

I sit in the shades,
with the trees and the birds,
and try to cut out,
the voices i've heard.

They urge me to burn,
without a reprise,
to watch those flames dance,
up into the sky.

The voices the scare me,
and I try to reply,
but the answers I get back,
make me want to cry.

I'm a tempest you see,
of wanton destruction,
my world is of violence,
for that is my function.

But I must not relinquish,
my now weak control,
for if I let go,
such horrors you'd know.

I would hurt you my friend,
with such great delight,
that your screams would pierce,
the silence of night.

But I stand here in shadows,
I will not give in,
I will not lose now,
to this beast within.

In fact I have chosen,
for better or worse,
to challenge this demon,
and see who comes first.

For though he sits with me,
he just could not see,
the drop off the cliff edge,
would appeal to me.

So I stand here atop the ledge,
and though I am fearful,
my beating heart relaxes,
when I hear the demon.

"What are you doing?,
this is our existence,
for we were created,
for this very instance."

"No you were my friend",
I whispered softly,
"and I will not be part of this,
because I am free".

The drop was not scary,
but peaceful for me,
for the darkness has gone now,
for you and for me.

Author's Note

Don't be an arsehole, and from there in any feedback is appreciated.

Main aim was that you enjoy it anyway :-) Hopefully you did.

Reviews

[Creepy Swine Guy]

I did indeed enjoy it. It reminds me of what Stephen King said about our fascination with horror ...

"The mythic horror movie, like the sick joke, has a dirty job to do. It deliberately appeals to all that is worst in us. It is morbidity unchained, our most base instincts let free, our nastiest fantasies realized . . . and it all happens, fittingly enough, in the dark. For those reasons, good liberals often shy away from horror films. For myself, I like to see the most aggressive of them – Dawn of the Dead, for instance – as lifting a trap door in the civilized forebrain and throwing a basket of raw meat to the hungry alligators swimming around in that subterranean river beneath.

Why bother? Because it keeps them from getting out, man. It keeps them down there and me up here. It was Lennon and McCartney who said that all you need is love, and I would agree with that.

As long as you keep the gators fed."

I see a few spots where I might tweak a bit for the sake of meter and I wonder if we really need this stanza ...

"So I stand here atop the ledge,
and though I am fearful,
my beating heart relaxes,
when I hear the demon."

... which seems to break the lyrical & metric pattern that you have established. Just an old guy's thoughts.

But overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this poem.

[Searching 4 Serenity]

It's rare when you come across a writer who has the ability of defining the darkest center of our inner being. You certainly have that ability.

[JenLyn]

LOVED IT! Just dark enough to draw me in. The rhyme and flow was great! When I read it my poem "The Demon Within" came to mind, I know you're not depressed or anything but there's nothing wrong with letting your dark side show. This was an amazing piece. I'm glad you shared it, I really enjoyed reading it. Great write! Keep it up! My two favorite stanzas were:
But I stand here in shadows,
I will not give in,
I will not lose now,
to this beast within.

In fact I have chosen,
for better or worse,
to challenge this demon,
and see who comes first.

I love that you're not afraid of what's inside you and that you are able to face it. Most people would just hide it and let it take control of them.

These three stanzas also stood out for me:

I'm a tempest you see,
of wanton destruction,
my world is of violence,
for that is my function.

But I must not relinquish,
my now weak control,
for if I let go,
such horrors you'd know.

I would hurt you my friend,
with such great delight,
that your screams would pierce,
the silence of night.

You're a storm of reckless destruction. The meaning of your world is cruelty. But you can't surrender control because if you let go people may see the horrible in you. A bit sick and twisted you couldn't control yourself from hurting someone and enjoying it while their screams broke the silence of the night. Again an Awesome write! Keep it up! :)

[BriAnna Wyble]

wow, this is really amazing, kept me reading until the end, you are a gifted writer

[Katie Louise Hughes]

Hi, I think you have good ideas, and i likes lines 37-40. :))) keep it up!

[life†death]

Strange one, but great as always, keep up the good work

[Middling]

this is very depressing! but very deep and good!

[GBU POETRY ONLY]

THE TEMPEST is very intense indeed. Tempting the tempestuous self can definitely be deadly but I feel that your poem goes beyond that with a symbolic death of that angry part of you. Or at least, an acknowledgement of your anger... I know that side of me is very powerful and I attempt to keep it in check by using it as a creative tool to write.. I know you must.. Beautifully haunting.. Kudos!
GBU

[Mitch*Dandy]

It was very good! But I only caught one mistake-
"the voices i've heard." from stanza four last sentence.
Otherwise very great poem. I liked the ending too.
-Rachel

[Star Wolf]

Awesome and so dark and chilling! I was hooked from beginning to the tragic ending.