Lost Friends

Looked in the mirror, saw dead eyes staring back,

They were a void, an abyss, I saw nothing but black,

Lately I've felt nothing at all, I'm simply numb,

Lost another friend, still waiting for the tears to come,

I'm so sick and tired of being so sick and tired,

I'm tired of funerals and sick of losing people I admired,

Two years ago, after a wake, I got drunk with a gun in my hand,

Tears in my eyes, gun to my head, I pulled the trigger, gun jammed,

I remember laughing, muttered, "this just isn't my night."

Thought, "I'm a failure, of course I couldn't even kill myself right."

In disbelief I felt lost and alone,

So many friends gone, "why am I here on my own?"

But as time passed I realized I must be here for a reason, a cause,

Now I give speeches to children that end in applause,

I speak on depression and stress they aren't alone,

there are people that love them-- their friends or people at home,

I speak on addiction and violence in the trade,

on how-- because of both-- 18 friends of mine lie in their graves,

perhaps they could have been saved if someone had spoke,

because words are weapons-- they can help or provoke...

Reviews

[Anindita Janhabee]

so inspiring and motivating....
it's true sometimes a person gets in such worse situations and give up...
but here as you didn't do that instead, tried to realize the fact, you seem really great.... very less people can realize the reality, not even me....
so thanks you so much for such an inspiration... excellent!!!
Anindita

[Philip Muls]

Last line is a killer.

Losing so many friends, you must be close indeed to a world of violence and addiction.

Powerful.

[mou]

I see that it become a rule that Most precious thing should to be lost and most of cases, it is beyond our control.But question is why it happen all the time............But it is a Nice poem..

[Sami Khalil]

"I'm so sick and tired of being so sick and tired,
I'm tired of funerals and sick of losing people I admired,
Two years ago, after a wake, I got drunk with a gun in my hand,
Tears in my eyes, gun to my head, I pulled the trigger, gun jammed,"

Sorry for all the loses you encountered in your life. It is heartbreaking indeed. Thank you for sharing...:)......................

[Brad P]

Thank you very much for the review. I wrote this for a few reasons. The first is (why I love writing) to help myself sort out my feelings over it, and secondly to show how you can turn even the worst negatives into a positive. Going to schools to speak to the youth helps me as much as it helps them. Of course growing up there were plenty of adults around to tell us drugs were bad, but that isn't enough. I make my appearances humorous when possible to keep the kids engaged, but I tell these stories from my past in a way that keeps them entertained and invested. I attempt to make them care about my friends as much as I do. Before they learn that each of these people passed away, they learn about their lives and personalities. But I digress. Thank you again for your review.

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. You are welcome. ...:)))))