Love of a Blood Sucker.

Love of a Blood Sucker.

A Story by Lino Rie
"

Romance between a vampire and who she thinks is a humane.

"
I look into my loves eyes and see his bright, steel blue eyes glisten as they look into mine. His warm, ripped body hugging mine. My blood lust soothed by his ever lasting presence. To think that a vampire like me could ever love a man like "him". I run my hands through his long, silver hair that framed his chiseled face so beautifully. I pull his head down and tease him with my lips. He then pulled away from me and looked to the clouded night sky.
"What's the matter Seth?" I say with concern. 
"I need to tell you something. Something I haven't told anyone. Not even my parents," he says with a stern voice that made me worry.
"I have something I need to tell you too." I say playfully, trying to make him face me so I could look into his beautiful eyes.
He turns around and gets closer than before. I look deep into his eyes and put my hands on his shoulders. He caresses my check and holds my chin.
"I'm a Werewolf."he says with no emotion.
What? A werewolf. No. He can't be a werewolf. Werewolves and vampires don't get along. I let go of his shoulders and look away from him. I fold my arms to comfort myself from the cold that starts to fill my body. He touches my shoulder to make sure that  I am okay.
"I should have told you sooner," he says with sorrow.
"It's not that ...."

He swirls  me around to face him and looks me in the eyes. As he looks into my eyes, I put my hands on his chest. 

"I'm a vampire!" I shout as I sob.

He looks at me as if he didn't understand what that meant. So I continue to talk.

"You know, a blood sucker. A being who feeds on others just to stay alive."
He pulls me even closer to his chest, and runs his fingers throw my long, blond hair.

"I don't care if you don't care," he says with love overwhelming his words.

I look into his steel blue eyes again and feel them warm my body. I rap my arms around his neck and steal a long kiss from him. As I did, he caressed me in his arms and didn't let go, even after the kiss was over.

"I love you, even though you're a werewolf and even if you were a human, I would always love you!" I say as my eyes filled with tears of joy.

I pull his head towards mine to steal another kiss, but he bet me to it. Now we could tell everyone at school that we're officially a couple. I was not always a vampire, but now that my love accepts me for who I am, I can let my fears go. I will always have my love, my Seth, my werewolf.

© 2013 Lino Rie


Author's Note

Lino Rie
Please, please comment. I would like to know if people would read a book about them.

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Featured Review

I like the concept. In all honesty I would read a book about it but I don't want to you to think this isn't good because I see potential. I read it to the end and felt like you should emphasize the drama more - you could really drag it out by having a backstory where she tells the reader about being torn ever since she became a vampire, how she's noticed odd things about Seth (rather than being completely oblivious, it would be amazing if maybe she wondered if her was gay for maybe being good at gymnastics etc.) What I mean is, content wise, make it obvious why there's a divide between werewolves and vampires. This is your story - you don't have to base it off of others like Twilight or Dracula at all! You could make it new!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lino Rie

11 Years Ago

Thank you for your input, And I'm going to go into more detail about it if I have to I will make it .. read more
Persona

11 Years Ago

That's the spirit! Don't stretch the story out though! Just work on what you've got for now. I hope .. read more



Reviews

I like the concept. In all honesty I would read a book about it but I don't want to you to think this isn't good because I see potential. I read it to the end and felt like you should emphasize the drama more - you could really drag it out by having a backstory where she tells the reader about being torn ever since she became a vampire, how she's noticed odd things about Seth (rather than being completely oblivious, it would be amazing if maybe she wondered if her was gay for maybe being good at gymnastics etc.) What I mean is, content wise, make it obvious why there's a divide between werewolves and vampires. This is your story - you don't have to base it off of others like Twilight or Dracula at all! You could make it new!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lino Rie

11 Years Ago

Thank you for your input, And I'm going to go into more detail about it if I have to I will make it .. read more
Persona

11 Years Ago

That's the spirit! Don't stretch the story out though! Just work on what you've got for now. I hope .. read more
First of all, let me start out by saying the most important thing: Seth sounds hot. Now, I liked the idea of this story (paranormal fan), the only thing I would say to change is go back through and check your grammar errors.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lino Rie

11 Years Ago

Thank you and that will change by friday.
Since the invisible girl never pointed them out for you, I figured I would (:

My Blood lust soothed by his ever lasting presence.
Blood doesn't need to be capitalized.

To think that a vampire like me could ever love a man like him.
I don't really think that this is a complete sentence, maybe you could join it with another? or maybe you could put ellipses after the word "him"?

I pull his head done and tease him with my lips.
Done should be down.

"I need to tell you something. Something I haven't told anyone. Not even my parents." He says with a stern voice that made me worry.
There shouldn't be a period after parents, it should just be a comma, and the word "he" doesn't need to be capitalized.

"I have something I need to tell you too." I say playfully. Trying to make him face me so I could look into his beautiful eyes.
Same thing, the period should be a comma. And also, I would change the period after "playfully" to a comma, and make the t in "trying" lowercase..

He caresses my check and holds my chine.
I think you meant chin, haha (:

"I'm a Werewolf."he says with no emotion.
werewolf doesn't need to be capitalized, it isn't really a proper noun.. and then the period should be a comma.

What? A were wolf.
I don't believe that you meant to put a space between "were" and "wolf".

Werewolves and vampires don't get a long
Along is one word, not two.

I fold my arms to comfort my self from the cold that starts to fill my body.
Myself is also one word.

He touches my shoulder to make sure I was ok
I think it should be "okay" instead of "ok", and I think it should be "he touches my shoulder to make sure that I am okay", instead of was, since you're telling it in present tense.

"I should have tolled you sooner." he says with sorrow.
"Tolled" should be told. and also, the whole comma instead of period thing again.

As he looked into my eyes I put my hands on his chest.
there should be a comma after eyes, and looked should be looks, because this is told in present tense.

He pulls me even closer to his chest and ran his fingers throw my long blond hair.
It should be "He pulls me even closer to his chest, and runs his fingers through my long, blond hair.

"I don't care if you don't care."He says with love overwhelming his words.
Comma instead of period, make the word "he" lowercase.

I look into his steel blues again and feel them warm my body.
I guess you meant to put it like that, but I think it would sound better if you said "I look into his steel blue eyes again..." instead of steel blues.

As I did he caressed me in his arms and didn't let go even after the kiss was over.
Comma after did, comma after go.

"I love you even though your a werewolf, even if you were a human I would always love you!" I say as my eyes filled with tears of joy.
comma after I love you, your should be you're, put "and" before even, comma after human.

I pull his head towards mine to steal another kiss, but he bet me to it.
bet should be beat.

Now we could tell everyone at school we're officially a couple.
You should put the word that before we're.

I was not always a vampier but now that my love accepts me for who I am I can let my fears go.
vampier should be vampire. comma after vampire. comma after am.


Now onto the actual story (:

I really like this, it's really sweet, and I think it's a really good idea for a story. So yes, I would read a book about them. If you decide to write one, send me a read request for it (: and sorry about all the corrections, I know some people find corrections offensive, and I hope that I didn't offend you.. I just want your story to be the best that it can possibly be. Once again, great job(:

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lino Rie

11 Years Ago

Thank you I don't mind. I like to know what i should change to.
There are a few grammer and spelling errors but other than that its a great start for a book. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lino Rie

11 Years Ago

In any way can you tell me what grammer and spelling errors I would like to change them.

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Added on December 6, 2012
Last Updated on January 16, 2013

Author

Lino Rie
Lino Rie

Williams, MN



About
I'm a girl who has little confidence and almost no talent. I'm 19 and have long blonde hair and blue eyes. My fears include: spiders, needles, not doing things right, disappointing others, and be.. more..

Writing
I am... I am...

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