Monochromatic Eyes

Monochromatic Eyes

A Poem by Brenden Bow

This is a poem about lost love.


A misguided knight, a shining-armored man, who sits in his throne, anew.
In his gaze are the moon’s rays by night, shining as true

as true gets, through and through yet.
There, in his field of vision, lives something in a shade of red, a shade of ominous hues.
Something's amiss, something�"an oddity�"which makes berth in place of his once-baby-blues.

These words of mine should be marked if you want to, well, if you want to live. 
My suggestion is about the way �" to him, it, you should give.

At my behest rest two monochromatic eyes.
They see all the princess’ lies, all her falsehoods and falsities;

they see all her goodbyes, e’ry piece of her bifurcated morality.

I see how you move, the little way you do the things you do.
I don't think anyone, no, no, no one else will do. I've gotta have... I've gotta have you.

© 2012 Brenden Bow

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Everything about this is beautiful and flows very well...up until the last line. Everything has a serious and elegant tone, so when I got to the point where you used the word "gotta" I stumbled a bit. I mean, if you like it there then by all means...I just think it seems awkward.

Other than that, good piece.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Very beautifully written

Posted 9 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on October 6, 2012
Last Updated on October 6, 2012
Tags: lost, love, hate, eyes, monochromatic, sadness, depression


Brenden Bow
Brenden Bow


I've been writing for nine years. It's a solitary art, writing; seclusion works wonders for one's evolution as a writer. I enjoy secluding myself for days, sometimes weeks, with my work. more..