Review of My Blood Approves by Amanda Hocking

I'm just jotting down my thoughts on various writers and their works.

I'm not going to summarize this piece of crap vampire novel for you. If you're curious about it, Google it. I understand full well that a book to its author is like a baby to its mother. So, having said that, I'd like to point out there's always going to be someone who doesn't like someone else's kid. So, if you've got a problem with it, uh, for lack of a better phrase, shove it up your a*s - I don't give two shakes of a rat's tail.

Instead of going about this review in a conventional fashion, I'm gonna do something meaner: I'm going to give you a comparison between this particular bit of teen fluff literature, and what I think is a shining example of an Ebonics-ridden, nonsensical - in a bad way -, inane, highly offensive and silly rap song . 

First off the boat, Rack City by Tyga. Yes, I consider this horrific piece of pop-hop better than 'My Blood Approves'.

Some will say, "But, Brenden, you can't compare a song to a book!"

Know what I'll ask 'em?: "Wanna bet, b***h?"

Rack City is Better for a Couple Reasons

Reason one: The line "I got your grandma on my dick." Honestly, to me, it's funny. It's funny and surprising. I didn't expect it, didn't expect it at all; while, on the other hand, I anticipated everything that happened in 'My Blood Approves'. I could've been a blind man and I would've been able to tell Jack was a vampire. I felt like friggin' Sherlock Holmes. I don't like that - not in books. Wanna know something funny? Alice made Bella look like a f**k-damn genius - seriously, Bella.

Reason two: Rack City has a repetitive, simplistic, yet still dominant, noticeable, stormy beat. It flows; it hits hard. Overall - and most importantly -, it's memorable after one listen. It's unique. It's everything 'My Blood Approves' isn't.  It does everything Amanda Hocking's book fails to do. It is everything this book wishes it could be. 

I'll have you know, I didn't read this all the way through. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't. With all the grammar mistakes, spelling errors, cliches, and wholly inane dialogue sequences - which lasted forever -, I found myself overwhelmed. I admit I gave up. I couldn't help it. The plot was terrible and went, quite literally, nowhere. It drove around meaninglessly. Ha, kind of reminds me of my freshmen year of high school....

Yeah, yeah, Amanda Hocking is self-published, but that's no reason for her to not take pride in her work. She needs an editor - a lot of them. I hate to be cruel, really, I do; but, for God's sake, why would you publish something for the world to see and not have it edited to perfection? How could someone do that? I don't get it; I don't get it at all. 

Anyhoo, I'll finish this at a later date.