~My Fears or My Insanity?~

This is a true story about me...

Every other morning when I open my eyes,

My dark dreams were just lies,

But I would wake up so scared, my head spun,

My young adult life has just begun,

 

In my early childhood, I had feared death,

But in my early teen years, it felt as if it was the only option left,

Fearlessly, I wanted a blade against my wrist,

But ended up a coward and slammed the table with my fist,

 

As I grew older, more scary thoughts racing,

I grabbed my chest, feeling my heart's steady pacing,

More thoughts of putting a bullet through my skull,

But still I have a calm pulse,

 

When I'm in a deep slumber,

I felt as if I stepped into where my life would crumble,

There scary thought haunts my dreams,

But when I wake up, I'd never screamed,

 

Dreams of being poisoned and looking at my last visual

 of a grim, smiling face,

As I would fall from grace,

Or being shot by my own sworn enemy,

Who knows what the future would bring?

 

Every nightmare I had, I felt as if I'm steps away to death's door,

But it's still locked, so I continued to see what life has in stored,

But this continues to haunt me until I feel emotional pain,

But then I would mourn over my loved one's grave,

 

What could these dreams actually mean?

Could it be warning signs or my insanity?

I feel unafraid of death as the world gets colder,

Until the Grim Reaper taps my shoulder.