-MAKE WHERE

with each day that passes on our ride,

we may not see what may come along our paths,

if it be for better or worse depending on our thoughts,

ideas,

this struggle may be only to see what is left,

when the years go by,

possibly minutes,

sometimes only seconds,

there are memories made in this life time,

remember them,

there may be a way out of this,

it will one day make its scene,

dreams,

moments in place,

when the time seems done

will you look back

finding it all burnt to ash,

so don't worry child,

we will leave this right arm

back there

over the shoulders of solders,

nothing ever stays the same,

something always changes,

ticking off in some distant hallway,

the trials of our days will soon be complete,

so why worry for the end

what we see around us is a mere distraction,

for our time is as we make it,

no one can ignore such a disease,

but it isn't worth the lost nights of rest,

where incomplete thoughts begin to ramble on little frames,

hung on walls by tight knots in the rope,

time to let go,

and fall away

into the next awakening

Reviews

[Sonife]

Magnificent thoughts :). Not the typical poem of rhyming words and stanzas. Yet it was very colorful and message was well delivered. It just went right inside my heart

[Anamika]

hmmm its really amazing i especially loved the last few line great job :)

[Clarisse Nanoit]

I really needed to read this right now, believe it or not. =) Reading this, my mind painted a picture of a young man at the bedside of a dying old man (maybe his grandfather?) and the old man was saying these things to him. This is full of life lessons that are easy to utter and even easier to read but so very difficult to follow or understant prior to firsthand experience. It's a little sloppy as far as the line breaks and the lack of capitalization, but that's something you don't necessarily have to change (*cough* I WISH YOU WOULD! *cough*). =) I enjoyed reading this--and like I said, I needed it.
KH

[Taste of Insanity]

i really like this, your word choice is excellent

[Joshua Smit]

so easy it is to walk through life ignoring everything that goes on around us...

[Linzey]

I really like this poem. I like how it can relate to many things and shows us that no matter what happens we need to remember that moving on is the best. What you write is very enjoyable.

[Rouillie Wilkerson]

Seems more like an extended paragraph of reflection than poetry. Nicely written, however.

[Nautili]

Loved the analogy of our jumbled thoughts at night hanging in frames by tight ropes.....i am always having trouble with sleep because my brain won't shut down and rest. Liked it, good job.

[...]

Stylistically and as a poem, it was pretty well written. The message doesn't really fit with my attitude towards life, but maybe that means it's a message I should strongly consider! Congratulations on writing a piece that caused some real reflection!

[A Risen Heroine.]

"time to let go,

and fall away

into the next awakening"


LOVED those lines, ring so true!!
Very well done my poet friend, keep up the good job!

~A Fallen Heroine~