Then He Found Me

A poem on love and life

My life wasn’t the worst
But i was never truly happy
Despite being surrounded by people
Most of the time, I felt pretty crappy

No one truly cared for me
I didn’t have someone to love
Despite my friends and family
In anyone’s list, i was never above

I was always second best
In a sea of number ones
I know everyone can’t be top
But even my mother preferred her sons

I couldn’t look myself in a mirror
I always hated what i see
Feeling like this everyday
Swallowing negativity about me

It’s not that how i lived was unbearable
Even i had fun all the time
It’s that nothing was truly okay
Trapped in a sea of sticky slime

My mother was messed up
She drank and partied everyday
I took her place for my brothers
I used to wish i didn’t have to stay

After time i came to think
Without me they would break
Despite feeling like i was nothing
I ignored my lonely heart’s ache

I had friends, sure
I don’t know anyone who had none
But i wasn’t important to them
And At one point they were gone

I dated here and there
But no one who wanted to stay
The worst was with my girlfriend
I cried over her every day

I can’t say i truly survived
I did have a bad year
Never once did i leave my house
I was Broken down in fear

Fear of the world outside my room
Even though it was hard with mom
i preferred the devil i knew
Still, i was a ticking bomb

We eventually moved states
I considered it a fresh start
However things kept popping up
Many new checks on my chart

I had Depression, anxiety,
Bi polar, and Agoraphobia
I was Prone to panic attacks
A mental health cornucopia

Meeting people was hard
Beating depression, even worse
I lost confidence in everything
I started to feel like a curse

Then one day in my new school
A boy caught my attention
A random person in my path?
Still, he caused some tension

I occasionally watched when he passed
I figured, just another stranger
But one day i decided to say hi
Then it was him, my game changer

Expecting nothing of our encounter
I went on my not so merry way
He saw something in my eyes
So he decided he had to stay

He approached me, my nose in a book
It was his turn to say hi
But over a year without contact
I was more than a little shy

Still, he sat beside me
It became his morning trip
Despite my awkward persona
Not a day did he skip

I was actually happy
That, i didn’t expect
Even though life was trying
I had him to connect

Life threw many things at us
Despite not being together
I looked at him and couldn’t help it
It was him and me forever

Things happened, we grew up
Went through friends and family
Then we confessed our feelings
It was him and i together, finally

Even with our ups and downs
we move as smooth as water
A happily little couple
And our perfect baby daughter