Baldwin/Shoe Incident

May 19, 2009

 

 

Ssshhh...

I'm on the phone

voice that feels warm in my hand, crawls into my ear

"Wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah"

so Charlie Brown

 

I look

           d

           o

           w

           n

 

I have no shoes

 

Get on the 54

Scholls Ferry, I think

the voice still warm in my ear, crawling into my hand

"Wah wah wah, wah wah wah wah"

pull the cord, get off

bare-footed

 

Nearby bushes growl

out

a black cat with a (bubble) head

I'll call you Salem

 

How did I get back home?

I have no room

all the rooms are full

and I don't have a thing

...not even shoes

 

I. Want. To. Party.

I journey back out

 

I'm at a party

I'm surrounded by one person

a Baldwin

what is this, a nightmare?

 

He's too close

with a mean breath

six o'clock eyes stare straight

                 d

                 o

                 w

                 n

into mine

as he yanks on my hair

(OWWW)

and fumbles with my clothes

I run

run Run RUN

I wish I had shoes

 

Look over my shoulder

in time to see a fist

kiss the Baldwins face

 

Baldwin has a knife

run Run RUN

D

   O

       W

           N

     S

         T

              A

         I

             R

                   S

 

Owner of fist is blurred

in a good looking kind of way

he's on my bare heels

as we descend, into darkness

 

Safety

behind a couch

light off/ON

I hold my breath

 

Now

 

We are both at my work

 

Now

 

I have on an apron

but still no shoes

 

A little girl with a flower

walks in

gifts me, a flower

 

My hero against Baldwin

has a five o'clock face

as he leans down

and kisses me

(stubble)

OWWW

but in a good way

 

Back home again, alone

I have no room

no stuff

just bare feet

and a fear of Baldwins

 

I need something in the kitchen

in an impossibly high cupboard

 

I         

                            B

                         M

                       I

                    L

                 C

 

(and Really reach)

to finally open that impossibly high cupboard

and my shoes fall out

Author's Note

This is based off of a dream.

Reviews

[RDOriginal]

Wow! It certainly has the fragmented, surreal kind of dream feel to it. I like the way that the shoe theme is constant but not prevailing, it's a dream after all, not a story so it doesn't have to make sense. Very nice use of layout for down stairs and climb etc. I've seen other attempts at trying radical layouts here and generally they give the impression that the writer has somehow corrupted the file rather than attempting to enhance the words with layout. Leaving out any punctuation also works well here, I found myself reading this very quickly and that re-inforced the fragmented nature. I guess someone else may read it in a more traditional dreamy and slow way and get something else from the experience. I enjoyed reading this a lot, good work.

[Leap]

Ha! I remember this one too. Alec is the best one.

[W.k.kortas]

The playing around with form is nicely executed; it is done with purpose, as opposed to just tricking up the form for trickery's sake, and it enhances the ethereal and dream-like aspects of the piece.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

the structuring is genius! (yay for jon sending me this!)

the baldwin and his fate definitely made me laugh.. who wouldnt want to have a Baldwin k.o.'d?
but aside from the humour, you describe this using such gorgeous images..
the final stanza, with the stretched out words, and the alice-in-wonderland aspect of the impossibly high cupboard.. so whimsical

[Jonathan Ballam]

This was rich, vivid, surreal and exciting to read. I think that the poem should just be called 'Shoe 'Incident' it says enough. Dreams are often a great insipration because it gives us those moments that make us feel truly alive and connected to something.

Shoe Incident, felt to me like a mixture of William Carlos Williams, and the domestic dialogue of Ted Hughes. This poem has a great voice and heartfelt images.

Keep writing, you have an inspiring voice ;)