Payment and love affairs.

Payment and love affairs.

A Poem by Brooksfield
"

This isn't a confession, it's an idea that is placed into the mind of someone who wants it so bad not to be true, though as loyal as the one writing, they never believe the truth.

"
 It begins as you might think, i didn't like you at first, i was mean and ruthless toward you, it made me feel good that you were always by my side through all of my ups and downs, though i'm sure i told you it wouldn't ever happen in a life time, i was with someone when we met and it crashed all around us.

 she wasn't the one for me and i saw it miles away, i tried to stop from burning with her, but the fire still caught me in the blast, i woke up from the wreckage and tried to stand, among that being many reasons to stay down and give up, you brought me back from death itself. 


I couldn't believe the new light i was seeing in you, you are not perfect and neither am i. 

I understand that and it hurts so much thinking i turned you down around every corner, i needed a friend and that's what you was to me, but after you picked me up you became, this, i can't explain it. 

I know how it sounds, you saved me and it's the most real thing i've felt in so long, i thought i knew what love was, what it was to miss someone, but now day's i cant be with out you, i can't wait until you get home and we lay together, even through the disagreements, through everything, i love you and i stay, always loyal. 

© 2015 Brooksfield


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Reviews

I love the meaning and the heart in this piece, but the way you set it up feels more like a letter than any other piece of writing, which is fine, but it tripped me up and my mind could not decide on a flow or tempo.

The word choice was nice, and you told your story very well. Definitely captivated me.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Wow!
Very well written and it touched me,
Can I just say though, you have potential!
My favorite part was, "I understand that and it hurts so much thinking i turned you down around every corner, i needed a friend and that's what you was to me, but after you picked me up you became, this, i can't explain it."
Please continue to write and read!
Can you by chance look at my story The Blonde Girl, It would really mean a lot to me.
Your new fan,

C. Lee Battaglia

Posted 8 Years Ago


That was so romantic and beautiful
Wonderful poem/story.
Filled with emotion, love, romance and written with your heart.
Well thought out and written. Enjoyed the read

Posted 8 Years Ago


Brooksfield

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much, i really didn't do to much for this one, it was a no brainer for me, It's an emot.. read more
cimmy wuv xxxooo

8 Years Ago

Your very much welcome :)
Its really good! =) You keep up the writing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Brooksfield

8 Years Ago

Yes, thank you for your review, i hope everything goes well on my next poem. Please look forward to .. read more
Thank you for your review, i didn't see those mistakes, i over looked such small things, rookie mistake.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Third line "was" to "were" , same line "though" to "through", fourth line "through" to "though", 17th line "was" to "were"
Other then that great write and i love it 😊

Posted 8 Years Ago



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6 Reviews
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Added on April 5, 2015
Last Updated on April 22, 2015

Author

Brooksfield
Brooksfield

Lawton, OK



About
I'm Thirty-Three years old from Oklahoma. I'm 5'11 in height. brown hair, It grew out and now I've cut it short and dyed it blonde in my pfp. also I'm also not very fond of pictures So the one in my .. more..

Writing