A Star In the Sky

A Star In the Sky

A Story by BrynnaW.

     I stand high above the Earth and other planets. My light shines bright for all to see. But how many people actually look at me? I mean actually look at me? They take me for granted and they could care less if I burnt out because there are other stars. Some people point at me with their children and say "What a pretty star." Am I really 'pretty' as they say? My light sparkles and twinkles but it can't add up to the beauty of the stars next to me. I look down on the Earth sometimes and wonder if I have the best view but then, over time, the Earth spins and I feel somewhat relieved. When the sun is done showing off all of its glory, I come out along with my fellow stars and the moon. Just like the sun, the moon likes to shine brightly and show that it's bigger than us stars which, therefore, makes him better. Some say that I'm yellow, some say I'm white. Can't they all just agree on one color? Is everyone blind? So many questions....

I'm just a star you see at night,

forgive me if I shine too bright.

I am but a star, you see,

and this is all I can be. 

© 2011 BrynnaW.


Author's Note

BrynnaW.
I don't know why but I LOVE this! It is one of my favorites. My favorite is the ending. :) I hope you liked it as much as I did!

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Featured Review

If a star is what you are then be the best star you can be. I always heard we are all part of a body and if you are a little toe be the best little toe you can. No matter what ... just do your very best. This was definitely a best too! Keep on penning.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I feel like this is sad. Like the star, something people have viewed as heavenly, or the ultimate goal "reach for the starts", has low an inferiority complex and low self-esteem. It thinks that sun is glorious, and it thinks the moon is better than it. It even thinks it's fellow stars are prettier than itself. It reminds me a depressed individual, or a more literal take on how even those as ethereal, powerful, and bigger than life famous people (stars), have their insecurities and are still human. And ultimately, it wants to be accepted for what it is, "just a star." Even this last bit seems reminiscent of sadness when it talks about how "that's all I can be" like it's given up on achieving anything more, even though it's not entirely satisfied with it's life. Or like being a star is nothing special. Really good write, you packed a lot of emotion into it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I do enjoy personification every once in a while, but usually when it is part of a larger story. However, I feel like this piece is quaint and easy to read. If you are not just a tad happier after reading this then I would suggest alcohol, or some other sort of mood altering medication.

I definitely like how humble the star is, it gives me pause and made me think about how ostentatious we all attempt to be sometimes. Take away everything else that does not matter, and everything that you are left with is just you. Pretty inspiring, good work.

Though I did enjoy this piece, I am looking for a different style of story for the contest. Definitely do not stop your prose. It sings a song easy to enjoy for many and more.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like how you told a story from a star's perspective. Really nice. Try to add more personality/character to the sun and moon to make the story more alive. :)

Keep writing!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

In all honesty, I have to put away my scientific knowlege to read this - because it is a really nice story and science ruins it :P

It's almost done in a monologue fashion from the star which makes you smile because it seems to be quite a cute star. I think the poem at the end might work better if you add a syllabol on the last two lines - something like 'But I am just a star, you see, and this is all that I can be.' For me, this just flows better.

I think what would be cool is if you gave the sun and moon more of a personality as this star seems to have. Use words that might suggest that the sun is attention seeking or the moon is ignorant - something like that, with the actual human emotion. And maybe give it a gender - cause I think pushing this as if space is like a big comunity of personalities that never interact is a little hidden gem of an idea.

At this point, I'm mostly just throwing in ideas, so you don't have to agree. :) Perhaps put a paragraph between the story and the poem. Just to make it more presentable. But I did enjoy this read, I'll put this as one of the nicer experimental pieces I've read so far.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very well written and the word choices were very good. :3 I enjoyed it very much and I hope you come out with more poems like this. And yes, I liked the ending very much as well. :3

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well written now Im goign to read dsome other stuff

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was very cute! I think it could be turned into a lovely poem! I really did enjoy reading this~

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the ending as well, that is my favorite part. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shine as bright as you can be.. cuz your piece my friend makes others smile :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like looking at the stars. The miracle of this world is there for the all of us to see. I like how you use the stars and life in this short story. I did like your ending. Thank you for a excellent story.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 30, 2011
Last Updated on July 1, 2011

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BrynnaW.
BrynnaW.

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