Opposites

Opposites

A Poem by C.M.

They say Love hurts,
But I say Love can heal.
They say Love is fake,
But I say Love is real.
They say Love is gone,
But I say Love was always here.
Love is not a drug but is an addiction,
Love is a story that is non-fiction.
Love is a vaccine of pain,
Love is a dose that cannot be drained.

Hate is the hurt,
The liar and breaker.
Hate is a desert;
The virus and faker.

Hate is of the World,
And Love is Eternal.

© 2011 C.M.


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Featured Review

I love this. Absolutely love it. I do have a few suggestions.

The only line that I am not crazy about it "without love we would be plain"... it feels like a sell-out for a rhyme... especially in comparison to the line right before it, which may be my favorite of the whole piece. The long A sound is an easy one to fudge, which gives you a lot of flexibility for the following line. To give an example, you could do something like "love is a vaccine of pain/a baptism by fate's blue flame". You have a million choices here - I would challenge you to chose one that gives you a bit more rhythmic consistency thatn the current line.
One other small thing, for rhythm I would remove "the" from the breaker... Hate is the hurt/the liar, the breaker" ... more punch that way.
These are just suggestions. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love this so much. Dang you write good poetry. I cannot tell you one piece of yours that I didn't like. Good grief man. I love this one in particular just because it's so true. :D

Posted 13 Years Ago


the positive outlook her is refreshing~

Posted 13 Years Ago


I love this. Absolutely love it. I do have a few suggestions.

The only line that I am not crazy about it "without love we would be plain"... it feels like a sell-out for a rhyme... especially in comparison to the line right before it, which may be my favorite of the whole piece. The long A sound is an easy one to fudge, which gives you a lot of flexibility for the following line. To give an example, you could do something like "love is a vaccine of pain/a baptism by fate's blue flame". You have a million choices here - I would challenge you to chose one that gives you a bit more rhythmic consistency thatn the current line.
One other small thing, for rhythm I would remove "the" from the breaker... Hate is the hurt/the liar, the breaker" ... more punch that way.
These are just suggestions. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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4 Reviews
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Added on April 1, 2011
Last Updated on April 1, 2011
Tags: Love, Hate, Opposites

Author

C.M.
C.M.

Vancouver, British Colombia, Canada



About
As you can tell, most of my writings are corny-love poems. This is due to the fact that I am a hopeless romantic! I value your opinion so if you have any suggestions then please leave comments. more..

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