CH.1: Geddon gate

Michael lands on earth.

"This is an outrage!" called out the Arcanus angelo of divine punishment. " Humans deserve no pity. the 'fog' your concerned about emanates from the weak hearts of humans. to save them from themselves is ridicules. You save them now it will emanate from them thousands or years from now and we will have to save them again. I say, let them choke on the fog!" Uriel said with great resentment. Uriel had red armor and weilded an ax and a cross bow. his hair was long it went to his mid-back. his eyes were scarlet as well as his wings. "I've already decided brother Uriel,  Father has already given me permission. I need not you permit to do what needs to be done," I said as I left the room. just before the throne room doors close I could hear Gabriel, "Oooh, talk about a verbal back hand," as I stepped out of the throne room, the giant doors slammed shut. 

 

     I walked in to a center room that led to the other seven dimensions of teh celestiel realm. I entered a portal the color of blue. there were two power angelo gaurds. they each had heavy gray armor and wielded pikes. "Hello general what can we do for you  today. I must enter the Geddon gate to the earth realm," I stated. "We have already got word of  permission,  we will open it for you. there was a large empty ring with two indentation. they  each shoved their pike in the gate and then, energy build up started growing in the center and finally a vision of ally way in the human world he stepped in the gate. in a flash or light i plummited from the sky crashing on earth. I felt a strange feeling i have never fealt before. i felt week and shaky. i know not what this feels like. i do not what it was. after a few moments it dawned on me; I was disoriented. what strange feeling. it must be the black fog or rather the negative energy powered by mans negative energy.

 

     I looked around gazing around the small area, there was a man who was holding a thirty once bottle of  cobra beverage.  though I have never been here I have watched the actions of man for some time. My frail younger siblings.  I felt cold, I soon realized I was bare. my wings and armaments have vanished. my hair  was once down to my shoulders, is nom my hair shrank from down to shoulder and is now just under my ears. "Michael,"  I heard someone speak to my mind, a call from the sky. as i looked i saw a principality Angelo. strange creatures th were a ectoplasmic siloette of a man. ot foluted with its enternal organd showing up in the ectoplasm  "traveling trow the Geddon gate turned you in a dormant human form. you will need to use alot of your powers just to blend in. be wary this place has a habbit of corrupting even the most dedicated of Angelo and Arcanus Angelo,"the principality said as he phased back to the celestial realm.

 

     So i placed my hand on my chest and focused energy and soon a light eveloped my body, once the light subsided. I was in a white suit, i had white slacks, dress jacket, button up shirt, tennis shoes and a gold tie. "now time to head to melody's," i thought to myself. 

Author's Note

you know what to do

Reviews

[Spookers]

-"to save them from themselves is ridicules.""ridiculous" instead of "ridicules".
-"You save them now it will emanate from them thousands or years from now and we will have to save them again." I am actually confused about the whole wording of this sentence. Put a "," between "now" and "it".
- "his hair was long it went to his mid-back." You should rephrase it like "His hair was long, going down to his mid-back." or simply just put a "." between "long" and "it".
-""Hello general what can we do for you today. I must enter the Geddon gate to the earth realm," I stated." Put two " between "today." and "I" since it's two separate people talking.
- "We have already got word of permission, we will open it for you. Put a " at the end of people talking.
-"there was a large empty ring with two indentation." put a "s" at the end of "indentation" since it's plural.
-"they each shoved their pike in the gate and then, energy build up started growing in the center and finally a vision of ally way in the human world he stepped in the gate." Another run-on sentence. Try not to but more than one "and", "but", or "or" in one sentence.
-"i do not what it was." I think you meant to put "know" in there.
-"what strange feeling." Did you mean "What "a" strange felling."
-"I looked around gazing around the small area,". Don't use around twice like that.
-"there was a man who was holding a thirty once bottle of cobra beverage. " Do you mean "ounce" instead of "once".
Near the end you have a lot of spelling errors. I would reread through this to correct them. Sounds good so far. can't wait to read more

[tyokon]

I like how Uriel grilled him in the beginning for trying to save man. It seems like he will be the antagonist in the future, maybe he is the cause of the fog. I wish Micheals powers were elaborated on a little more.

[_]

HIM: i say let them choke on the fog
ME: *pops up from bushes* WHAT?!


Other guy: i need not you permit to do what needs to be done
HIM:...
ME: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!


HIM: *growls*
ME: *runs and jumps into knuckerhole* THE EMPIRE CALLS FOR ME!

i felt week and shakey.
ME: Welcome to my world. *trmbles madly* the world of redbull* drinks redbull...starts dancing and soon starts to seizure on stage*

i was in a white suit,
ME: ....*kicks dirt in the ground with hands in pockets* *mumbles* I wish I had a white suit T-T..
GREAT! THIS WAS AWESOME I LOVED....as you can see...lol XD haha ! WICKED JOB! WOOT WOOT!

[Treston Seek]

i really love this story lol