Carry on

Carry on

A Poem by Sira YR
"

Through it all, I carry on...

"
Though my frame is weary 
and my mind overwhelmed 
I carry on,

Though I  desperately wish to collapse and drown in despair
I rise and, wiping my tears,
I carry on,

Through all of the struggles,
 and obstacles that strive to bring me down
I carry on,

In this desolate world
Full of sorrow, hatred, despair
where hope and peace is as scarce as gold
I carry on,
Though people constantly tell me to give up
To drown in this stormy sea of life
To succumb to the darkness and to the horrors 
of this wretched world
though the odds are stacked against me
I carry on...

Still ...
I carry on.

© 2016 Sira YR


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Featured Review

"Though people constantly tell me to give up
To drown in this stormy sea of life
To succumb to the darkness
I carry on..."

These are my favorite lines because it makes me think of the painting Fishermen at Sea by Joseph Mallord William Turner. I wished you had stretched that out some because I felt like it could be more powerful if you did or rather if you incorporated those lines in the whole poem.

"Though I desperately wish to collapse and drown in despair
I rise and wiping my tears
I carry on,"

I think there needs to be a comma before the "and" because I think it would make those lines more powerful too. It would put some emphasis on "wiping my tears" and read as tone of strength and endurance.

Here, what does this mean? "In this desolate state called life." What does the word "desolate" mean and how does it define the hardship of life? I feel like that can also be stretched and molded into something more beautiful.

I found the next lines to be a bit vague, but I get it.

I was having a bad day and it was nice to read a poem with an uplifting theme. It reminds me of "Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou.

Thanks for posting! Have a great day!



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review! I saw some problems that I didn't notice before and I'm definitely going t.. read more
Cy!

4 Years Ago

beautiful T^T *cries*
Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you!!



Reviews

I love the message and structure of this piece. This is a mentality we all should have during our darkest days ... having hope and motivaiton certainly beats drowning in despair. Although it's sometimes hard to look at the hardships of life and say "I can make it," it's what we must do to keep going. It's good that poems like this are around to make that task easier.

I agree with Jazz Lover in that this piece is very similar to Maya Angelou's poem "Still I Rise."

- William Liston

Posted 4 Years Ago


Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I'm really glad that so many people, including you, liked it :)
"Though I desperately wish to collapse and drown in despair
I rise and, wiping my tears,
I carry on," - these lines ring true and convey the drive to never surrender, despite how cruel life can be. The poem as a whole is uplifting in it's message and flows like it could have been a song. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you for commenting!
Jack Necron (Aubrey Jack Peaslee)

4 Years Ago

You're welcome!
"Through all of the struggles,
and obstacles that strive to bring me down
I carry on... "

loved these above lines. very aspiring. and the virtue of harsh reality have you cleverly penned up in these shortened words so smoothly. no matter what people be about and what they craps telling us doin' so, we always must carry on till we're reached beyond horizons. concept's very nice. layout's cool as well. liked it!


Posted 4 Years Ago


Tenacity in the face of all that Life throws at us makes for an inspiring journey through Life.
This reminded me of Invictus by Henley.
The refrain 'I carry on' has such innate power.
Well done here Raysira.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much.
Tony Jordan

4 Years Ago

Welcome Raysira
Wow... I never thought I could inspire anyone to write such a beautiful piece! This is beyond my capabilities because every word flowed so sweetly and lovely. I love the comparison you made with hope and peace to gold. It was that stanza that really made me understand how deep you can think. Great job, indeed!

Posted 4 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
"Though people constantly tell me to give up
To drown in this stormy sea of life
To succumb to the darkness
I carry on..."

These are my favorite lines because it makes me think of the painting Fishermen at Sea by Joseph Mallord William Turner. I wished you had stretched that out some because I felt like it could be more powerful if you did or rather if you incorporated those lines in the whole poem.

"Though I desperately wish to collapse and drown in despair
I rise and wiping my tears
I carry on,"

I think there needs to be a comma before the "and" because I think it would make those lines more powerful too. It would put some emphasis on "wiping my tears" and read as tone of strength and endurance.

Here, what does this mean? "In this desolate state called life." What does the word "desolate" mean and how does it define the hardship of life? I feel like that can also be stretched and molded into something more beautiful.

I found the next lines to be a bit vague, but I get it.

I was having a bad day and it was nice to read a poem with an uplifting theme. It reminds me of "Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou.

Thanks for posting! Have a great day!



Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review! I saw some problems that I didn't notice before and I'm definitely going t.. read more
Cy!

4 Years Ago

beautiful T^T *cries*
Sira YR

4 Years Ago

Thank you!!
Sapientiam inspired me to write this after I read his poem Time of Passing. Enjoy and comment! P.S you should check out his works!!

Posted 4 Years Ago



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Added on November 15, 2016
Last Updated on November 16, 2016

Author

Sira YR
Sira YR

Lorman, MS



About
I'm just the lonely writer expressing her thoughts through the art of the written word. I find that writing and art to be a special way to express myself in a forum with people who are like mysel.. more..

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