A Letter to my Friend

Thanking a friend for being there through everything.

To my dearest friend,

I'm writing to you because of something that I read that got me thinking about you. I was reading some things off of a website called "Gives Me Hope" (GMH) and it reminded me of all the things that I wanted to say but never did. 

Remember when we first started hanging out with each other? At that time, I basically had no friends as they all ditched me for drugs, sex and alcohol. I was all alone eating my lunch and you plonked your butt down and started chatting with me. We weren't strangers, we knew of each other because we had travelled in the same social group, but we weren't friends with each other. Not 'til after we both found ourselves alone. We started to form a bond through our shared lunch periods. Those times quickly became my favourite part of the day. You gave me something to look forward to every day, you gave me a reason to get out of bed when all I wanted to do was cease to exist.

I remember that you never ate lunch and I remember when you started giving me yours after mine kept going rotten. I made sure to tell you whenever I was going on a trip so that you would know why I wasn't there. I remember that if my trip didn't leave to early, then you would track me down and give me your lunch. Heck, I remember once you showed up to give me said lunch at 6:00 in the morning!! On those days, you would make sure to pack extra food and a bottle of water. And I remember that each and everytime, my heart would soften ever so slightly. Which was a miracle, because at that time I was lucky to feel any emotion. Yet you evoked something from me with those little gestures that showed that you cared. I'm not sure if you realize just how incredible that was because you were the only one who was able to make me feel anything, you were the only one who was able to touch my heart. It may have only been for a few moments, but I remember that it almost made me cry once. I wasn't expecting it, I wasn't expecting someone to go so far for someone like me. I didn't realize that anyone cared so much. Thank-you.

I remember the one time you texted me for help and I didn't because my phone was charging and I had been sleeping. You have no idea how much it KILLED me inside to realize that I let you down when you needed me the most. I HATED myself for that and I still haven't forgiven myself for letting you down so horribly. I failed you & I hate that. I'm so so sorry. I can't say it will never happen again, because I would be lying. I have a habit of mucking things up but what I can say is, I'll try my damnedest to make sure that I'll be there the next time.

You know, whenever your in pain I hurt too. I hurt for you and the fact that I feel completely useless to help. All I can do is listen and give you a shoulder to lean on. I wish I could do more. And if I could, I would take all your pain away even if I had to bear it myself. You have no freaking clue of the impact you've had on my life. That's why I know, that no matter what I do, it could never ever repay you even a small inkling of all you've done for me. Thank-you.

To this day, I don't understand why or how this friendship happened. As you know, when we first became friends was when I was in the darkest point in my life. When I couldn't feel any emotions and the odd time I did, they were never good. I was unable to care about anyone. I don't know what you saw in me nor do I know why you stuck by my side. It's not like you had any memories of who I used to be, you didn't have any memories of me before I fell into the darkness to hold onto to give you hope that I would one day come back. You were faced with my worst side for years. No matter what I said or did, you still stayed by my side. I don't understand why you didn't turn tail and run. I wouldn't have blamed you. I was really broken and I didn't even know the full extent of it. I will admit, those first few years I wasn't really a friend. And I wish I knew what made you think I was worth your time, worth your friendship 'cause I know I sure the heck didn't deserve it. 

I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like you. I know I've made a friend for life....no that's not true...a sister. I've made a sister who will be there for me, as I will be for you, 'til death. You've been there for me. You've seen me at my worst and you've seen me at my best, though it took a few years. You never judged me. You only gave me your understanding, loyalty and love. Not to mention joy and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. Which is kinda hard to forget considering all of our inside jokes (Remember the fish egg incident?).

I'm sorry that I don't show you or tell you just how important and how much you mean to me nearly as often as I should. So I'm telling you now.

I love you, sister. You've made me laugh my arse off when I'm sad. You've listened to me rant and rave for hours on end when I'm frustrated. You've loved me unconditionally even though I know I haven't made things easy. You showed me kindness, compassion, and understanding when no one else bothered too. You've shown me loyalty when all I knew was betrayal. You showed me what a friendship is supposed  to look like and that it's not supposed to hurt or have any distrust. You've shown me how the bonds between family members are supposed to be when I didn't know because my family is royally messed up. You taught me how to trust and believe in people. You accepted me for who I am, with all my flaws and quirks and all the baggage that I carry. You've showed me how dedicated you are to those you care about by not giving up on me when heavens knows you should have. You're always there when I need you and you make sure to make time for me when I'm going through all my rough patches. I could go on for ages about everything you've done for me and the things I appreciate about you.

Thank-you, for never giving up one me.

Thank-you, for being my friend, my family.

Above all, thank-you for being YOU.

I thank God every day for putting such an AWESOME person in my life. I'm so happy that you're my friend. I'm happy that you waited for me to break free from that darkness and I'm so sorry that I made you wait so long. You have no idea how truly awesome you are. You are so unique and have been a major blessing in my life. You are one of the best things to have ever happened to me (and I realize that with my past, that doesn't seem like much now. But I can tell you, no matter what good things happen to me in the future. This will still be near the top. Because I wouldn't have a future if not for you). Your friendship is an invaluable gift that I treasure deeply. It's truly been an honour to know you and to be your friend. I just want you to know, even though you will only ever know in part, just how special and important you are. Don't let anyone tell you any different!! (Or I might just have to bust some heads.....) Thank-you, my dearest friend.

This has been a struggle to write, as I'm trying very hard not to cry. And failing miserably at it, may I add.

Our friendship Gives Me Hope.

Your trust,

Your acceptance,

Your dedication,

Your understanding,

Your respect,

Your humour,

Your patience,

Your compassion,

Your kindness,

Your empathy,

Your fierce loyalty,

Your unconditional love.

It all Gives Me Hope.

YOU Give Me Hope.

Thank-you my friend.

Sincerely,

Me.

Author's Note

This is an actual letter I wrote to my good friend. I'm hoping that people will relate and automatically think of a face that they feel the same.

My the way, there are some things that I capitalized that I shouldn't....but it's done on purpose as it relates to the first paragraph.

Reviews

[StunnedByGrace]

WOW! What a tribute! You remind me of why I am so often 'stunned by grace!'

[Wonderful Letdown]

Thank-you! I really appreciate your feedback and that you took the time to read it. I'm happy that you seemed to have enjoyed reading it!

[StunnedByGrace]

My honor and blessing

[Pi Cee]

This is a beautiful piece of heart.

[Wonderful Letdown]

Thank-you, I'm happy that you think so highly of it!!

[Pi Cee]

Anytime. =)