If Someone Asked Me WhyA Poem by Samantha A poem on my unrequited love. If someone asked me why I love you, this is what I’d say: I’d tell them of the time you spoke about your favourite Marvel comics, And the way your face lit up when you described them to me. I’d tell them how innocent and pure that radiance was, how childlike your mannerisms were, In that moment at least. And I’d hope they understand why I fell in love with the feeling of your untainted enthusiasm, About some bloody comic books no one else cared about. I’d show them all your worries and troubles, Stacked on top of one another in a precariously balanced house made of playing cards. And while they were assessing these I’d point out how selfless you are, How your troubles were never centred around your own happiness. And I’d hope they see that the house of cards I showed them is a reflection of the person you are, The kind of person who’d knock those cards down if they had your name on them instead. I’d paint them a picture of your mind as I see it, Full of complex ambitions, conflicting emotions, unreasonable doubts and careless memories. I’d use blue and pink to dot your journey here, And blazing red to show them the great places you are destined to go. And I’d hope they stand back and appreciate the amalgam of colors instead of questioning why, There isn’t a single spot on the canvas I seem to fully understand despite being the artist. I’d take them on a walk to the place we first met, I’d make sure it was a sunny day first, just like that one. I’d tell them I didn’t think much of you at all when I first met you, And I’d make them sit in that same spot, and feel the same way we felt as indifferent strangers. And I’d hope they understand that despite the seeming insignificance of that moment, I look back and am convinced I see a halo of light above that place, and the misleading simplicity of that day. I’d tell them how tightly you hugged me when I was sad, How softly you touched my arm when you beckoned to me that nothing was wrong. How quietly you showed me an outpouring of inert friendship- friendship waiting to combust, In a time I thought I needed you the most. And I’d hope they understand that it’s not just how wonderful it was breathing in the fragrance of your old jacket, It was how wonderful it felt, feeling the weighty presence of a thousand words unspoken. I’d give them the shoes and the bags and the hate I threw at your head, Just for them to inspect amusingly and wonder why. I always end up hating the people I love the most, And I always end up scarring them with more of my sadness than I can remember the next morning. And I’d hope they understand that it’s not the guilt that comes with the hangover, It’s the gutsy sickness in your stomach that makes you heave the second your lips touch the glass of wine. I’d warn them before they meet you, this is what I’d say: “It’s easy to make that boy laugh, but it’s hard to win him over. His love is not on display, his mind has been sent to the dry cleaners, His laugh has been tampered with, by caution and logic. But don’t ever say you don’t understand that he’s a wonderful human being”, I’d hope they understand your facade is all pretence. And if someone asked me why I love you, this is what I’d say: It is hard for me to imagine, Going through the rest of this life, And meeting another singular human being like you. This is what I would say, If someone asked me why. © 2013 SamanthaAuthor's Note
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