The Storm

I feel the raindrops

falling on my face.

My soul is awakened

by the wind's embrace.

My heart beats like a drum

as thunder roars.

I run faster

and my spirit soars.

I fly high into the

illuminated sky

as two angry souls,

The Storm, and I,

collide.

Reviews

[Patricia Williams]

Wow. This is amazing! I don't usually see works on this site that I like (including my own). But WOW!
Ok anyways; I do think you could change one very minor thing:
"I run faster
"and my spirit soars."
The "and" throws off the rhythm slightly (in my opinion). I would just add a comma after "faster" and then take out "and". But really, this is super minor so if you don't like changing your work, I understand. :)
Again, brilliant poem.
Keep writing!
~Patricia

[Calissa Knox]

Thank you so much for this helpful, encouraging review, Patricia. :) You keep writing, too!

[bobc]

FD...the rhyme works nicely in this poem. Like it very much. But I do have a question for you...the 'My soul is awoken' construction feels odd to me. Looked it up and 'awoken' is the past participle of awoke which is the past tense of awake. Should the line be ''My soul awoke' or 'My soul is awakened' ?

Perhaps this bit of grammar is just finicky on my part but I wanted to ask. Thanx for posting...bobc

[Calissa Knox]

I think I just typed it in wrong. Thank you very much for pointing that out!

[Neon]

Very nice poem, it's touched my heart. Keep writing, it's a very lovely way to express yer feelings in the form of words. I loved this.1

[Calissa Knox]

Thank you very much, Neon! I'm glad you enjoyed this. :) You keep writing, too. :)

[Neon]

My pleasure as always dear, Feathery ... so, would ya love to share how you got an idea writing this piece?

[Calissa Knox]

Sure, I'll message it to you. :)

[Neon]

Cool, thanks :)

[Calissa Knox]

You're welcome. :)

[Calissa Knox]

Nice, nice, this one feels like a little sister of the other one, yet more complex, in it's shortness....

I love how you and the storm, assimilate and collide the same time, it's inspiring...
I felt like I was sitting on a beach, after a smooth day, then thunders come, and storm with you, together... (like a perfect day or moment can be ruined).... fantastic short piece.

- Elisa

[Calissa Knox]

It is a little sister to the other one. :) I have a track on my album called, "Call of the Storm", and I wanted to make some poems to possibly put on the album, to describe the song "Call of the Storm". I'm glad you enjoyed this piece, too. :) Thank you very much for your review! :)

You're very welcome, that's a great idea to mix it, yes, for the written feeling of it too...I did, I enjoyed fully! :)