A New Chapter

You are so much of everything- 
I am going to be honest
To an extent where you will want me to be far less brutal or far less desperate or far less everything that I am
But I can't change it and if I can't change it and if it is always who I will be why should I hide it away
If you can't love me for my desperation and my madness why do you love me at all
So here it is, honestly;
You are everything
I see you and I have trouble breathing and when you open your mouth I have trouble frowning
Everyone knows, everyone sees how helpless and hopeless I am because I am more and more so every day
They see my eagerness
They feel my anxiousness
They roll their eyes and I know it
But how can I change
I am desperate for anything I can get but the more I am given the more I want
I will not stop 
How can anyone get enough
I never do
I am so very little everything else but of emotions I have no shortage
And you are everything
And I am so tired of feeling sorry for wanting you as much as I do, because it is probably too much. But I'm tired of holding a thunderstorm inside me and letting out one raindrop
I see you every day
But honestly,
I miss you 
I double and triple text 
I act like things don't bother me when they do
I am easily touched and easily crushed
....I will regret this later when I am cowering in a corner feeling embarrassed for feeling in the first place
I am afraid of so much
Please be careful