02; "You'll Be A Boatswain's Mate"

This is the next chapter... I'm so happy I think I'm gonna throw up; two chapters in one day! In case your wondering I listen to Alestorm, Nightwish, and Sonata Arctica when I write.

 Toube walked quickly to the front of the table and looked Captain Ross in his serious, and intense blue eyes. "Aye? You here for the position, kid er what?" Captain Ross sighed and rested his head on his hand. "Yes, Captain. I'd like a position on your vessel. I can er.... Sorta read a map, I'm good with my hands, and I'm not afraid of a few battle scars." Toube cut straight to the point with all seriousness in his tone.  Captain Ross looked at his Lieutenant, Messa. Messa shrugged and made an un-sure look. Before Captain Ross could even turn his head in the Master's direction, Master Flack already had his words dancing on the tip of his tongue. "Master Flack-" Captain Ross started, but he couldn't get the words out fast enough, "If ya can only 'sorta' read a map then you'd best be good with yer hands, boy." Master Flack's words lashed out at Toube with venom but Toube didn't so much as flinch, instead he stared at Captain Ross, awaiting his decision.

 "You'll be a boatswain's mate, boy. Savy?" Ross's eyes glazed over and met dead on with Toube's. The moment was intense. " Um.... Aye.... Captain?" Toube winced and clenched his fists. " Ahaha! Yer' a good lad! Mighty fine, mighty fine boy!.... Say.... How old are ye, boy?" Captain Ross leaned in towards Toube, intending to see the boy shy away a bit. Toube loosened up and answered his new captain respectfully, " 19, Captain." Captain Ross leaned back in his seat again, "Really..? You seem.... Much younger than that, boy." Toube blushed a bit, the other crewmates noticed their new crewmate amongst the drinking of their rum. "Aye, we got a new mate, already?" One of the crewmates commented to the other, "Yeah, and he's a boatswain's mate, at that." another one commented back. "I wish ye luck, boy. It'll be a long road." Captain Ross warned. "T-thank you, Captain." Toube backed into a corner and sat silently amongst his new crewmates. "Aye, me boy."

 The rest of the night was long, not many people came to join Ross and his crew. As the moon beamed blue, the crew headed out to the vessel. Only three others joined them that night. One of them had been assigned to the position of carpenter's mate. The other two had been told they'd be acting as extra hands on deck. The carpenter's mate's name was Jason Tenner, he was a very strong and quiet man. He was very muscular and serious. While Toube and the other two where nervous and a little giggly, and walked behind the rest of the crew on the way to the vessel, Tenner walked next to the carpenter, who would be his head of command next to the Captain. Toube had trouble learning the rest of the crew's names. He knew he had to call Captain Jaques Ross, Captain Ross, and Lieutenant James Messa, Lieutenant Messa. He did not know the Master's first name so he continued to just call him Master Flack. Toube was a sight, he was. He was calling mate's by their wrong names all night long.

 Later on in the night, when the moon was high in the night sky, he'd been taken to his sleeping quarters by Master Flack. "You'll be sleepin' here tonight. You'll be sleepin' here for the rest of your life. Get comfortable, boy." Master Flack said without emotion and turned on his heel. Back to his post with him. Toube layed in his wood and cotton bed that hung from the ceiling of his quarters and reflected on his full, and exciting day. "So.... I've finally done it, huh? Left home? Left my families' love for the love of the sea... For she is all I need..." Toube began to sing as he fell asleep along with the waves of his vast love.

 Meanwhile, upper deck, Lieutenant Messa sailed the vessel and Master Flack monitored the crew's posts, as they had been for the past eight and a half years of their lives'. Captain Ross was in his master quarters charting the vessel's next three stops, so as to fill in for the Master while he was watching the crew. Their next stop was being charted.

Author's Note

Sorry this ones so short, my friends being an idiot and he won't shut up so I can write -.-'

Reviews

[Rae]

Good so far, Ellie. Again, I spot some mistakes, but don't worry. First I have a question. Do the pirates say 'boy' a lot? Because Captain Ross says it quite a bit and it just seems wrong to me. Anyway, on with the corrections. I saw this sentence and it is kind of a run-on so I'm going to fix it up, k?

["The carpenter's mate's name was Jason Tenner, he was a very strong and quiet man. He was very muscular and serious. While Toube and the other two where nervous and a little giggly, and walked behind the rest of the crew on the way to the vessel, Tenner walked next to the carpenter, who would be his head of command next to the Captain."]

Might I suggest putting some of this together in a different way, like so:

["The carpenter's mate's name was Jason Tenner, who was a very strong and quiet man as well as muscular and serious, while Toube and the other two where nervous and slightly giggly, walking behind the rest of the crew on the way to the vessel. Tenner walked next to the carpenter, who would be his head of command next to the Captain."]

Is that a little better? I think it flows a bit nicer, but then again I could be wrong. Another sentence that might need revising:

["You'll be sleepin' here tonight. You'll be sleepin' here for the rest of your life. Get comfortable, boy." Master Flack said without emotion and turned on his heel. Back to his post with him.]

Might I suggest this:

[ "You'll be sleepin' here tonight, namely the rest of your life. Get comfortable, boy." Master Flack said without emotion, turning on his heel and heading back to his post.]

I don't know if pirates say 'namely', but whatever. Hopefully, this will help you on your journey to completing the book. ~Kasi