Burning Casket

Tonight’s gown is wearing a smile that gives me shivers down my spine
Heaving the defunct soul out of its own nest
Exhilarating the unseen
Fussing from nervousness and jumping to conclusions
In this moment, will you take the questions?
Gory details plunging down into one statement,
“He should not have done a terrible mistake
That caused the towers of hope to disjoint.”
Is it the lack of time?
Sweeping through days and skipping moments
Nothing desiring to complete
Only to stop at this certain moment,
Truth clapping at me
Yearning for my smile as I watch reality lay in front of me,
Embracing the soft curves of its shape
The casket ran towards the red-hot table of fire
Overly dramatic about the spirit that will soon wave goodbye
Venomous sorrow claps me into a smile
Everything will twist around;
Reversing the sadness into joy.

Author's Note

What do you think of the poem?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and the spirit won't even feel the flames...gone is goine...
we feel the immediacy of loss, bask in it for awhile...because someone we loved is gone.
But then when we realize the person is probably in a better place and smiling down, we can smile up at him or her....and stop the venom from spreading.
"truth clapping at me" wish i had written that line...
good stuff here, Cassandra.
j.

[barleygirl]

I enjoy macabre writing that is NOT super gory, like this, using strong imagery to SUGGEST the death theme. Your message is nicely balanced between the literal sense of watching a casket being loaded into the cremation chambers (to burn) . . . and the figurative idea that life itself can be like a casket loaded into the flames. Great subtle suggestions that launch the reader's imagination about what your message means. I think your phrasing is one of the most natural aspects of your style. Even tho I'm a poet that makes every line the same length & similar rhythm, I crave reading writers who are just the opposite, who let their thoughts define how long a line might be. The long and short lines give a see-saw effect like life is sawing at a person. I think you should mark your work "POEM" instead of "STORY" . . . there are many readers who do not read stories, only poetry (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Cassandra Marie]

Thank you for your review!

[Fairy Khan]

P.S. Try adjusting the layout a little bit to make the read smooth.

[Cassandra Marie]

Thank you for your review! This is for my creative writing subject, so I'm just starting out. Thank you for your opinion, I'm sure I'm going to keep that in mind.

[Fairy Khan]

You’re very welcome.

[Fairy Khan]

The final lines are hopeful, and I like the pieces which end on such note. Well penned.

[The Daisy]

That was a good read! Kepp writing!