Can't go back

After breaking a heart. Better not to look back. Can't return back to the place of sweetness, after burning down the bridges with bad actions and words.

                              Can't go back

Last time I saw you. You were covering your face and hiding tears. I knew when I exit the door. I couldn't return.

I had everything once and wanted more. You told me. "Wild and crazy Johnnie. You must stop and hold on to me.  Even the wild sea know calm and must rest. Johnnie, the wars and regret are gone. Stay with me and allow our hearts to grow to everlasting and a good love."

I left you on a Winter day to go fight wars for men who did not care if I lived or died. I learn life is like a old willow tree. The good branches will grow and expand. The bitter branches will slowly die and be forgotten.

I called you. I was seeking redemption. I told you. I have not forgotten you sweet Julie. You lay heavy upon my mind. Beautiful Julie told me. "Once we had a clean love. Free and wild. We were intoxicated with each other kiss and touch.  We left the cold world outside and we both healed. You decide war and the road was more tempting than my love and my embrace. You can't go back Johnnie. Clean love become dirty love when sadness overtake the good days. I love you Johnnie. Take care of yourself. I can't take another goodbye dear Johnnie."

I sit in the Austin Tavern now. I became the the tavern Poet. The kids listen to my advice with wanting ears. I tell them. No redemption for men who live for war and sin. Worldly goals will lead you to dead-ends and loneliness. If a woman love you. Hold her tightly and tell her. She is the reasons for you to be alive and you want to love her to your dying day.

                           Coyote/John Castellenas

Author's Note

Love. Most precious gift given and received.

Reviews

[....................]

Love is the most precious gift and losing it is the toughest anyone has to go through. Your poem is filled with heartache and buries itself deep in the tendrils of regret.

"No redemption for men who live for war and sin. Worldly goals will lead you to dead-ends and loneliness. If a woman love you. Hold her tightly and tell her. She is the reasons for you to be alive and you want to love her to your dying day." Sound advice! Great write!

[Coyote Poetry]

I did learn too late. I did get a second chance to do better. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[....................]

Great to hear!

[Ana B.]

A very emotional sizzling with heartbreak, reverence and regret.....beyond compare dear author.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ana. All of us learn the hard way.

[Tina Kline]

Yes, love is precious gift and must be taken care of or it will fade away. As the saying goes, sometimes we don't know what we have until we loose it is so true. A very touching story. We all must make such hard decisions in our lives.

[Coyote Poetry]

We do. If we are lucky. We can find peace at the ending. Thank you Tina for reading and the comment.

[Tina Kline]

You are welcome, my friend.

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

Very forlorn tale of realizations too late and love lost already. I feel your pain my friend, but you are wiser than many others...you have acknowledged that there is nothing more important than love. Some die without ever realizing.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right. Old lesson taught me to be kinder. Thank you Nadia for reading and the comment.

[nazia]

A splendid love story..
Once we had a clean love. Free and wild. We were intoxicated with each other kiss and touch
Loved this description of love in your work..
It may be a sad piece but I kept on reading it in a hope that may be you will see her atleast once in the end. A lovely piece encompassing love, lost love plus war and its sad consequences at times..

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Nazia. I appreciate the comment.

[nazia]

You're welcome :)

[modtoddinc]

Coyote- love your name... nice poem based on a song... I am very interested in this form.. I call it music mythology, and believe it to be a true artistic path. Excellent writing. a few things that I noticed which may be intentional but I want to share it because I am who I am... "I knew when I exit[ed] the door." "If a woman love[s] you." "to[till] your dying day." Again not trying to change your view, just reading. thanks for your art!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Todd. I appreciate the help. I'm here to learn.

[Melinda McQueen]

Love is precious and it hurts to lose it. I know this too well. Your story expresses this so well.
A good write.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Melinda. I appreciate the comment.

[wordman]

a sad write john,but true and tuching for a lot of people
you can't go back b through th portals of your mind

[Coyote Poetry]

Yes you are right. After a deed is done.Can't be repaired. Thank you for reading and the comment my friend.

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Valentine]

Willow trees also weep for lost love. Did you ask the tree not to weep for you? Valentine

[Coyote Poetry]

I made the poor branches sickly. I like the willow tree. They seem to be beautiful and haunting. Thank you for reading and the comment dear friend.

[Jamestown]

My friend you said so many great things in this piece, I don't even know where
to begin! Willow tree unbelievable, no redemption for a man that lives for war and sin,
and the last stanza to name a few, absolutely fantastic, going to my favorites,
Thanks for sharing your amazing poetry! PTL:)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend for reading and the kind words. I do appreciate.