Did I ever love you?

New poetry

                                       


               Did I ever love you?

Dying.
Lying.
Needing.
Bleeding.

Pretty Poet, she sang her words sweet and sadly to willing listeners at the Poetry reading in Monterey coffee shop.

Love is just myth and tale.
Love is lesson and pain.
Love is knowing how far we can go into the dept of willingness.
The willingness to open closed doors to yesterday pain.

The red hair beauty looked at me and she whispered.

Do you want misery?
If we learn to yearn for fingers, hands and kisses against willing fresh.
If we open locked doors and submit to heartfelt wishes and hope.
Is misery the final place we shall know.

Love demand payment.
Love is costly and so damn sweet when alive and near.
Dear lover. I miss our memory.
I need our memory.
I need you near even if you are broken.

She finished reading and she told the listeners. My name is Angelina. Thank you for paying attention to my words. Dear Angelina come to me and she fell into my arms and she asked. Did you find peace in Asia and Africa? You saved strangers and left me here without you. Johnnie, you love the dark places and your heart is cold. No justice or peace for a man seeking death over life. Johnnie, you can't always get want your want. Death comes when deaths wants. Life is living, travel and testing life. Not guns, gin and sin. Without knowing love. You are dead already.

Sweet Angelina took me to the Monterey Bay and she released her Summer dress.  She danced with the waves allowing her feet to touch the cold water of the Pacific. I watched her move with the waves. She was more beautiful than last time we met. Her free flowing auburn hair and body moved with the dancing waves.

She came to me and I embraced her. She brought my hands to her breasts and she kissed me many times. She whispered the kiss and touch,  lover's doorway to love and need. We must submit to the will of love and our heart. Love is not free and very costly. Real lovers don't demand payment. Just loan the gifts of  kindness and gentleness. She turned to me and she told me.

No more war dear Johnnie, no more seeking proper ending. You and I. Are here near the sea. I prayed for your safe return nightly to the Pacific. Will you stay or will you go? If you loved me once. Maybe you will love me again.

I brought her closer and I told her.

Dear Angelina. Every night for a year. You were my first and last thoughts.
I dreamed of you in your Summer dress and the smell of your perfume.
I dreamed of your flowing auburn hair and you dancing at the sea.
I yearned to look into your hazel eyes and to listen to your song.
I prayed nightly. You and I.
One day, we would be by the sea once again.
I promised the desert moon and the desert sun.
I would never release you this time.

Two lovers waltz near the Pacific. The moon and the stars blessed them with light and hope. Love is life and life is love.
                                John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

just words.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Your story is told with intense feeling. I get the sensation that there's a harsh side of this encounter, the way we all tend to guard our hearts at first . . . but then the interactions become more fluid & easy. There's a point of surrender that comes right after this line: "You are dead already." It feels like the simple serenity of sharing a moment momentarily blots out all the harsh noise of the world, but then worldly thoughts creep back in from time to time. I see this struggle here & in other of your stories. The embedded poem is graceful & meaningful with rich details.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[wordman]

the one you love has your first and last thoughts,beautiful write john

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you wordman. Love is all we got sometime.

[wordman]

my pleaure

[Island Hippy]

Aloha John, I love your unique style. Always romantic, embracing the good & the bad. Always colorful in imagery. Another lovely read. Izzy

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Izzy for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[SJ Mullins]

This is beautifully and very sensually written. Your imagery is spot on. A most enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear friend. I appreciate the comment.

[SJ Mullins]

You are most welcome. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Romantic, gritty and imbued with your usual down to earth portrayal of good and bad with a loving soul Coyote.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you John for reading and the comment. I was saved by many kind people. I have five journals of people who share time with me.

[Ken Simm.]

There is so much understanding in all your words John. And this is no exception. Moving and rich. I find this extraordinary.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ken. I appreciate the comment my friend.

[angelina neves]

Uau! a very beautiful poem/ piece, soft as the sunset at waves of the sea!

[Coyote Poetry]

Your poetry gave me reasons to write. Thank you Angelina for reading and the comment.

[angelina neves]

thank you very much for the complement! It is fantastic to know that in some way I can inspire someone far away in a different world...
once (playing with this idea) i wrote "Energy and matter" you remind me of that one...

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe we need to read to write and you are welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you tell such stories with your words...always of love but with that sadness...the separation, the losing and then the finding again...the hope always sprinkled in as well---you get to the guts of it all.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Jacob. Love was our best and worst days.

[Bohrium Guy]

"She came to me and I embraced her. She brought my hands to her breasts and she kissed me many times. She whispered the kiss and touch, lover's doorway to love and need. We must submit to the will of love and our heart. Love is not free and very costly. Real lovers don't demand payment. Just loan the gifts of kindness and gentleness. She turned to me and she told me." love this...

Your visual imagery is outstanding in this piece. I would say mere words can bloom into ones mind and provoke thought in areas that only each of us can relate. Well done brother!

Keep up the random thoughts.

~Rob~

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Rob. I appreciate the comment.