Father never cries

Old poem, written in November 1990

                             

                                                             Father never cries

My father never cries,

my father rarely smiled,

my father eyes turned darker,

because of life burden.

His body and heart gave-up in the battle of living.

One day, he got up and he left us.

When I was young,

I didn't understand his ways,

I denounced his way of living and 

I could never forgive him,

till life became a useless journey for me too.

I lost my dreams, I lost my hope and

the world kept pushing me backward.

I was trying to brake even and I learn my father's sorrow.

I understood why my father lost his laughter, his smile.

For I found my father's pain.

He was, just a man.

Trying to keep everyone happy and no-one gave dad something back.

He fought old wars every Friday night,

he held the rum tightly and he talked to ghosts.

I watched his life fall apart,

I saw his job took from him,

I saw his wife love turn to disappointment and

his sadness that his children with the bare essentials.

He was proud man,

who could find peace in the rum only.

It is too late to tell you my father.

Thank you for trying.

Now I know your pain,

your sadness.

I found my wars,

I learn my disappointments and now.

I wondered did you ever cry?

You would cry a river of pain and misery known.

But, you were just a man.

Who fought and fought till the rum finally killed you.

I hope in heaven,

you are surrounded by the soldiers,

laughing, talking and smiling.

You deserve some good days my father.

  Dancing Coyote

Author's Note

Just words.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

'You would cry a river of pain and misery known. - But, you were just a man. '

Such a display of emotions and understanding here John. Your father played out his sad, desperate life.. and you did the same but in such a different way. But, by the finish of your tale, so many lessons learned, two men side by side, different ages, different lives yet.. not dissimilar in 'stature'. How strange it is when time and insight shows us what we knew but couldn't see someone else's pain until we've suffered our own.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right dear Emma. Time is the teacher. Teaches us. We must be tougher than life.

[emmajoy]

Waving, take care of yourself, John!

[Unspoken poet]

Now I know your pain,
your sadness.
I found my wars,
I learn my disappointments and now.
I wondered did you ever cry?

I can really feel these lines here, this is so heart tugging and emotional.

[Coyote Poetry]

My father served in the Korean war and Vietnam. Was never right till old age. Thank you my friend for reading and the comment.

[AJNJ]

A father bears his burdens without complaining. Toils day and night non-stop for his family. Whether he is successful or not depends on many things in life but he sincerely tried. And for that one must be thankful always. I read a lot of gratitude and love in your words. He deserves good days and words always. A great tribute sir.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. We become our father and I try to show my children, a different road. They didn't follow my path.

[AJNJ]

I think Fathers always wish the best for their children. Sometimes they choose to follow different paths. Sad, but father did his very best. You're a winner in any case!