Something is wrong with me.

Something is wrong with me.

A Poem by Coyote Poetry
"

Bukowski had stole my soul.

"
                  Something is wrong with me.
Something is wrong with me. I am like a Bukowski  poem gone wrong.


Bukowski told us, do what you love, even if you must be alone, you must go hungry, be homeless and know hard days. Go all the way or just become a mountain that don't move.

I have become the mountain now, never moving, accepting life as-is.

Once I wanted to save my world, write the great novel and live near the sea.

I befallen and I can't find my real face.

I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin.

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.
Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Bukowski would tell me. "You did a fool's dance for the rich men.
Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes.
Now accepting, just enough.

Remember Johnnie, never trust a man who doesn't drink.
Drink the strong whiskey till you can see,
then, your sleepy eyes can be awaken by the taste of the whiskey.
You will see, you are swimming in s**t."

Something is wrong with me. I have become the Hemingway's ghost.
I need the tropical sea, quiet places and polite woman.
I have none of these.

I need to follow Hemingway's advice. Finish one project and work on one thing only.
End at good open statement so you can find the flow of thoughts again. I need to bleed
to paper.

I met Bukowski once in California in the early nineties in a Tavern. I had a lot of cash and I bought the 
whiskey and we drank. He liked me and he told me. Write hard words, honest words. Make
the people feel your suffering. I didn't know who he was that day. His last words were very cool. He told me,
"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better."

Maybe I am where I suppose to be? 
Maybe I wasn't brave enough?
Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Dancing Coyote

© 2020 Coyote Poetry


Author's Note

Coyote Poetry
New words.

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Featured Review

I think of Tolstoy at the Crimea.

Or the movie "Crossroads" when Seneca tells Macchio, obviously irritated...

"You can't play the blues... Until you've lived the blues"

Suffering is subjective. A papercut is the worst pain one has felt if one has never felt pain until then.

But no less liscened to write it.

Whiskey works until it stops working. And then suffering isn't nearly as romantic.

This hit me in a soft spot. But I'll take my "hard times on the pea farm" (to quote the movie) over watching men blown to peices at the Crimea anyday.

Maybe better to relate than to compare. And maybe gratitude for our suffering being only great as it was.

Very emotive peice. You intimated it well.


Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Thank you for the many quotes. We are always learning good lessons and bad lessons. If we are lucky... read more



Reviews

no one is wrong, don't beat ur self.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Just old thoughts and I believe. We get what we deserve. Thank you my friend for reading and the com.. read more
really heavy emotions of sadness, regret and melancholy but still life can be like that there are moments when you feel you have to look back with anticipation but ended up troubled perhaps that is what life is all about continuously challenging a person

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

I agree my friend. No easy life for no-one. Thank you for reading and the comment.
I think of Tolstoy at the Crimea.

Or the movie "Crossroads" when Seneca tells Macchio, obviously irritated...

"You can't play the blues... Until you've lived the blues"

Suffering is subjective. A papercut is the worst pain one has felt if one has never felt pain until then.

But no less liscened to write it.

Whiskey works until it stops working. And then suffering isn't nearly as romantic.

This hit me in a soft spot. But I'll take my "hard times on the pea farm" (to quote the movie) over watching men blown to peices at the Crimea anyday.

Maybe better to relate than to compare. And maybe gratitude for our suffering being only great as it was.

Very emotive peice. You intimated it well.


Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Thank you for the many quotes. We are always learning good lessons and bad lessons. If we are lucky... read more
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"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better." LOL : D

I loved the whole thing but this line stuck out for me. I was curious as to why he told you that. Had you shared your words with him to make such a statement? From a writer's position speaking of my own experience, I'd appreciate someone telling me that as opposed to someone telling me how great I was and had never read a word. It's a start to improvement. I guess just writing has been on my mind lately.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

He told me the truth my friend. I was writing without knowing great pain. I did find. The great writ.. read more
Painful, this is a place many find themselves but we keep moving since we are here

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Thank you dear Cassie and I do agree.
nothing is wrong with You, the wrong is in the bitter hateful world we became to live in it, You are a writer, a kind-hearted person, a real man, and that's why You may go through all of this, and as a writer, it's normal to take a small feeling and make it extreme for the sake of creation, exactly as Bukowski told You. "feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin." when a human being faces lots and lots inside and carrys it alone, they can reach that point but it never means that they lost their tender side, it means they have more control on it than before, to use it carefully when it's needed instead of letting the emotions control us. Bless You my friend and may your days be bright and creative always ✨



Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Just old man thoughts. We look back and we wished we done more. Thank you for reading and the commen.. read more
Write hard words; first you are like a stone, no face no heart no kindness, just a lump who can''t even put pen to paper until you move from your old face to your new and remember Hemingway's advice and Bukowski's' advice; "you did a fool's dance for a rich man", now pay the price! or find peace!
I liked this very much.
Fondly, Betty

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Thank you dear Betty for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.
Betty Hermelee

2 Months Ago

You’re very welcome
I feel this is a real writer's piece, Coyote. Delving into the dark, futile heart of existence, pondering its meaning and what it means to be alive and feel alive. It's the trait of the writer or poet to seek out such answers and spill them on the page so others less adequate with the pen can read and learn for themselves. I found it fascinating you drank with Bukowski. That must have been a very interesting experience. Perhaps I will take his advice, too, and suffer some more. I appreciate the read here. 🌹

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

He was right dear Viktoria. I was young when I met him and many hard lessons made me see and write b.. read more
Gosh, these words seemed like they were pulled from you. It' interesting knowing what life without doing what one loves is versus how things could be. The grass will always appear greener, even from so far away. The transparency is what leapt out from the page and the courage and self awareness is what made the appeal all the more heartfelt and a page turner. Simply wonderful. Great read.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Thank you dear Laurierose. When old age take over. We look back and we wished we did more.
Well.!! Much of this piece resonates with me also. However I don't feel there is something wrong with me, I'm just getting older and slower. Maybe we think more before acting. Maybe we stopped running and walked steadily forward. Life is one long lesson. I enjoyed this piece.

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

Thank you my friend. I hope I am wiser in old age.

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Added on June 29, 2020
Last Updated on June 29, 2020

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Coyote Poetry
Coyote Poetry

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About
A Poet and writer who love to read and write. My pleasure is reading about the bad and good in a life. Also to honor the Poets/Writers of the past by reading their words. Remembe.. more..

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