Something is wrong with me.

Something is wrong with me.

A Poem by Coyote Poetry
"

Bukowski had stole my soul.

"
                  Something is wrong with me.
Something is wrong with me. I am like a Bukowski  poem gone wrong.


Bukowski told us, do what you love, even if you must be alone, you must go hungry, be homeless and know hard days. Go all the way or just become a mountain that don't move.

I have become the mountain now, never moving, accepting life as-is.

Once I wanted to save my world, write the great novel and live near the sea.

I befallen and I can't find my real face.

I feel I am becoming more stone and rock than human skin.

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.
Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Bukowski would tell me. "You did a fool's dance for the rich men.
Skinned off your real face and be-face with liar eyes.
Now accepting, just enough.

Remember Johnnie, never trust a man who doesn't drink.
Drink the strong whiskey till you can see,
then, your sleepy eyes can be awaken by the taste of the whiskey.
You will see, you are swimming in s**t."

Something is wrong with me. I have become the Hemingway's ghost.
I need the tropical sea, quiet places and polite woman.
I have none of these.

I need to follow Hemingway's advice. Finish one project and work on one thing only.
End at good open statement so you can find the flow of thoughts again. I need to bleed
to paper.

I met Bukowski once in California in the early nineties in a Tavern. I had a lot of cash and I bought the 
whiskey and we drank. He liked me and he told me. Write hard words, honest words. Make
the people feel your suffering. I didn't know who he was that day. His last words were very cool. He told me,
"you write like s**t, but suffer some more and you will write better."

Maybe I am where I suppose to be? 
Maybe I wasn't brave enough?
Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Dancing Coyote

© 2020 Coyote Poetry


Author's Note

Coyote Poetry
New words.

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Featured Review

Hard words, bitter life, bottom of a bottle to find peace, a laugh.
Maybe Bukowski had something there...If we suffer enough for a long enough time...maybe
we can write a decent poem....I'll pass on the whiskey...and just write more s**t.
You have a tendency with your poetry, to set me in a chair right next to your table.
I feel privy to the conversation...
Thought I might get him to sign a book for me...but he spilled all over the pages..and ruined that chance.
But I didn't have a pen with me anyway.

j.

Posted 4 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

4 Months Ago

He sat next to me after the war and I was writing. I bought the whiskey and the beer. He talked to m.. read more



Reviews

Maybe I am where I suppose to be?
Maybe I wasn't brave enough?
Maybe I didn't drink enough?

Love this part, this is so well written, love the imagery

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you my dear friend. I semi-retired and I have time to reflect. I know you can't go backward, b.. read more
That line.... I wanted to save my world, write great novel... Then can't see my real face.... A beautiful mind got interrupted by so many things.
... Then probably suffering can put it with the mirror it once lost.... Lovely to read....

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

3 Weeks Ago

Thank you my friend. I believe, we land where we suppose to.
Dreamer Sima

3 Weeks Ago

Exactly.... May be we are destined to that way...
“I need to bleed..to paper”- yes this is the drive of the true writer. Wow Coyote- you met Bukowski! He saw the writer in you and gave you encouragement...and you lived..and wrote better. This poem is an authentic, profound journey. It is a Masterpiece of insight, literary skill, humility, grace and wisdom. Stark self-assessment in a poet’s questions and realizations. Cognizance and acceptance of reality. Whatever you may THINK you are right now in these apocalyptic times Coyote,- I KNOW you are a giant with your words And your heart. No one can do what you do- period. Drop mike. It’s shell-shock you feel now because of world and life situations. I feel it too. We did what we did and learned what we learned. “Once I wanted to save my world”-yes. Now we have to stop, breathe, and save ourselves however we can. You were one of my first friends here and you have my love, admiration and respect always. May God always bless and guide you.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

Thank you dear Annette. I read Bukowski later and I learn. Writing is hard. Bukowski told the truth .. read more
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Great last words...looks like you still have a chance at the great novel...just suffer some more....what else is there to do in life 😎👌🏻💯♥️

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

Thank you dear Kira. Next month, I will finish some stories and two books. I struggle with endings. .. read more
0

1 Month Ago

It goes hand in hand happiness and sufferings...you wouldn't know one if you didn't experience the o.. read more
Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

I found my happiness. Maybe the place I suppose to be. A grandfather of four grandchildren. I made .. read more
WOW!!!

Once I drank to feel alive, once I sought war to know I was alive.
Love was never my strength, patience is my enemy and kindness is forgotten.

Also love this part so much, drank to feel live, or probably numb for a while as well
Sought war to know you were alive, Deepness as well as sadness there.

very coarse words my friend.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

I turned 62 on August 11th. Did some deep thoughts and I read the old writers. Bukowski and Jack Ker.. read more
Powerful and strong message here.
Sometimes life make us become what we don't want to be. Sometimes, we have to give live all that it takes. We are living in a world of uncertainty. We just have to be strong enough to keep on going.


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

I agree my friend. We must go forward and never give in to the naysayers. Thank you for reading and .. read more
Pain is a strong motivator, it hits the core of mind and soul, it's a mental and psychological aching process, and it will not go until you face it with harnessing it and transforming it to a new form of energy, taking advantage of the emotional surge. Well done Coyote, you really made me self reflect.

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

Thank you for reading and the comment. I have been listening to Bukowski lately. I liked his honest .. read more
Insight "MH"

1 Month Ago

You are welcome.
I love this
I love it so much
I trust you are well
I’ve been out of action in the writing sense busy busy busy I’ll try to get bk to it I miss it so


Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

Hello dear Julie. I hope you are doing well. Be safe and have some fun.
I believe we all go through this phase of inaction, where we just stop and get huddled up by our endless doubts and questions and fears, which we set to eliminate in our lives in the first place. Bukowski had many critics, he was unconventional and brash but he gave less damns than anyone else.

This poem oozes of the frustration one has towards not following their passions. This poem hits me somewhere, sitting through days slacking, exhausted, doing nothing. Becoming a mountain that's unable to move, to cause change in people's lives.

I have a question though - I don't drink. will you trust me? Lol, maybe not, but I understand :D

Posted 1 Month Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

1 Month Ago

I drink little now. House filled with grandchildren. I did like Bukowski. He wrote what he wanted. I.. read more
Akshay Rawal

1 Month Ago

I'm glad that you'll find more time to commit to writing and reading. Kinda excited to read more fro.. read more
"Work is the curse of the drinking classes" the late great Brendan Behan said.

I'd like to think we can write without suffering, such misery only benefits the drink vendors.

A very Catholic take: to be worthwhile life must be a suffering experience. I'm Catholic, but never a fan of that thinking!!!

Posted 2 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Coyote Poetry

2 Months Ago

I don't know my friend. I believe what Bukowski was telling us. Open your eyes and live. Maybe not s.. read more

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Added on June 29, 2020
Last Updated on June 29, 2020

Author

Coyote Poetry
Coyote Poetry

MI



About
A Poet and writer who love to read and write. My pleasure is reading about the bad and good in a life. Also to honor the Poets/Writers of the past by reading their words. Remembe.. more..

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