If I knew.

We learn too late to be quiet. Anger and violence leads only to more pain and sadness.

  If I knew
 
 If I knew.
 I would of  loved more and said less.
 
Sweet memories slip into my mind of us.
Two people loving and holding tight like it was our last moment.
 
I remember walking  hand in  hand with you.
On lonely beaches.
Never more happy.
 
 The sweet times are rare now.
 
 Eyes of youth had faded away with life burdens and losses.
 
 I look into the mirror and see a tire man.
 
 I wish to go back and feel again.
 To hunger for sweet  kisses and love til the morning light.
 
Walk down the naked beaches of Monterey coast.
In a mist of silence with a gentle hand in mine. 
 
 I didn't know laughter and dreams would fade away.
 
 If I knew I would of try to stop time.
 
 Hold you like you were my last breath.
 
                          John Castellenas
                            Coyote

Author's Note

Life is long and hard. My Grandfather told me along time ago. Nothing good to say. Say nothing. I tell my children the same.
Coyote

Reviews

[Nautili]

I love the vulnerability of this poem, you speak of naked beaches, and metaphorically your soul is naked in this poem. You admit you are tired, jaded, uninspired. I love when people are just real.
And you want to fix it, to change it, to feel the vitality of the relationship once again. You are not content to just let the passion dissolve into nothingness. Such an honest work.

[Raven Wilson]

This sounds so....vulnerable, admitting...the way it is written draws one in to feel that same way. It is a very real poem, nothing fake or assuming about it. I like the honesty present in this piece and how very well it is seen through the wording.

[Smart Zombie]

i like this. reminds me to not let time slip away and live every moment happy. now im thinking of the future....lol

[O!]

I love ur grandfather's words btw..im gonna remember that!

i think its lonliness which takes u back to a certain time...

if i knew...i think so too...but well, life is full of shocks and surprises!

[fhamie]

it's nice. i liked it!
i think your grandfather is right>>>Nothing good to say---Say nothing.

[Stacey Watts]

A very heartfelt piece of how perhaps the actions of the past can sometimes leave us longing to go back in the future. If only to pinpoint the time when it all went wrong and set the course for change. This was a very well expressed piece.

[Helena]

Yes Coyote, life is long & hard...but .it can also be short & sweet.
I try to find something to be grateful for everyday and often
find many diamonds among the stones. I think if I wake up
each morning to this wonderful earth I am indeed blessed.

Now to your poem lol. So many beautiful lines here that
were poignant and endearing. Sorrowful reminicing of memories
that are still tucked up safely in your heart, but have now gone.

Thank you for sharing my friend. :)

[behindbrowneyes]

This was really touching to me,because ''If i knew'' certain things while they were happening then i wish i could do otherwise, or ''If i knew'' what was going to happen after i told someone dear to me harsh words i would've known better.

One of my favorites i've read so far on this website.Honestly.

[Iota]

I think all of us look back in our past and remember out last moments with someone we cared about. We think about how life pulled us apart. Today I like to think I learned from those days and hopefully the pulling apart never happens again. I agree with Jo it is nice to see another man who can show his vulnerability in poetry.

[emmajoy]

Tis sad to come to a time in life when actions are only memories .. but it's sadder still when you don't carry the past into the now and realise that anything experienced life is what makes you you ..

[snapstache]

Thanks for the review.
I love your description of the poem.
I can just see it in my head.
Great job. *.*