Shadows

We can't escape the bad or the good done in a life.

 





























Shadows
 
My sister told me. "You  have changed. "
She told me. "You saw too much s**t and your mind and eyes are cold.."
 
I told her,.
"War isn't personal.
You do what you are told. Try to forget and move on"
 
 I kissed her forehead.
I told her. "War was easy.
This world falling apart around me.
I don't know what to do.?
That the crazy s**t I don't understand."
 
Up in the morning before five.
We don't need no sunshine.
 Organization, discipline, three  square meals a day.
 Old SGT. say. "It will be all OK."
 
Young boss at work asked me too many questions.
 I told  him it is not for him to understand.
 
When you stand tall at attention. Salute a M-16, boots and helmet of a dead soldier.
You join a club.
The soldiers that lived must carry on with their buddies stories and memories.
Drink a beer on the day of their friends death. Can't allow them to be forgotten.
.
 
Lying on cold ground.
 Waiting for a hidden enemies.
 You slapped your magazine to insure it is loaded right.
 You light up a cigarette and hope all things will be alright.
 
Going to Iraq with my gun.
Going to kill some Iraqi sons.
 
 Generals sent Division of soldiers.
Names don't matter.
Reaching for more stars.
 
Mama and Papa sit by the phones.
Wife and family pray for the day their soldier come home safe and sound.
 
Soldiers talk about kids and woman.
Takes up most of our time.
 
No-one talks of dying.
 Ain't no race or religion.
 Protect your friend back and he watched your back.
 
Soldier do right and wrong things.
A lucky man can walk away from  all the s**t and forget.
 
The shadow of war find you one day.
 
 I stood with  a mother of my friend killed in Iraq.
  She  held me up.
 I saluted her son's gravestone.
 
I go to the corner bar with other Veterans.
Drink to friends not here and missed.

Maybe baby sister is right.
The shadows are always with me.
 
                                   COYOTE
                        

Author's Note

Old poem. Soldiers must insure the old one's are took care of. One day we will be the old one's. Any mistakes. Please assist.

Reviews

[E.H. Monroe]

we have this vision of what happens "over there". then the folks "over there" come back here, we throw a parade and then tell em to f**k off because we have better things to do. The war against the enemy is just a war against people who were raised by different fathers and mothers, different gods and rules.
and that creeping shadow of war..s**t man i dont even know that f****r..but i know guys and gals who do, and he is a rancid drinking buddy who runs his fingers down a scar on his face and reminds you you havent seen the s**t like he has. well f**k him.
never any mistakes in a coyote piece...just reality that makes real go...damn that s**t is real.

i salute you sir

[ShameemAkhtar]

Could do with some editing and polishing (minor grammatical errors here and there)..

On the up side, this is a very strong poem and even though it will evoke lots of emotions in most people. What makes this a master piece (and I sincerely believe it is even though I said it might need some polishing), is the narrative way you go through the poem and cold way you describe all these images... Actually it's not even cold, it is devoid of feeling. As though the narrator had his soul murdered. What is there is a robot reflecting on what his sister said.

My sister told me. "You have changed. "
She told me. "You saw too much s**t and your mind and eyes are cold.."

You could not have started this poem better or ended it better for all it matters

'Maybe baby sister is right.
The shadows are always with me.'

Starting and closing this poem with referencing the sister makes the poem stand out. The usage of the term 'Maybe' is itself captures the full essence of that poem. Yes the shadows lives on and will always follow the narrator. You capture subtly but excellently this torpor and apathy the narrator is living in, having seen too much s**t in his life to the extent of being desensitized and quasi brain washed...

Excellent job

[Cosmic Dreamer]

I like it, and always respect the men and woman who fight for my freedom, and always have the need to hear their stories so they will always be remembered alive or gone. I once wanted to be a soldier but had to make a difficult choice. My son with one parent or leave him none. But now he is 2 years away from being 18 and wants to be a marine. I salute him and hold my head high for him. Cause at least I know choosing him may have helped make a man out of him. Would love to hear more.

[Chris]

One mistake...you said "waiting for hidden enermies." Just a little spelling error.

This is an extremely powerful poem. It forces emotions out obnoxiously yet soundly at the same time. It painted very clear images even with such simple words. Great, great piece my friend.

To me this is the best of all your works that I have read so far .

[EMMIE]

IT'S SO SELF EXPRESSIVE, IT'S REALLY NICE TO READ THE SOLDIER'S THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. YOU DID GREAT ON THIS ONE.
I stood with a mother of my friend killed in Iraq.
She held me up.
I saluted her son's gravestone.

I go to the corner bar with other Veterans.
Drink to friends not here and missed.

Maybe baby sister is right.
The shadows are always with me.
THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO THOSE MEMORIES WILL ALWAYS BE WITH YOU. SO SAD. I GIVE PROPS TO ALL SOLDIERS WHO ARE OUT THERE ON THE BATTLE FILED GOING THROUGH THIS. THIS IS A GREAT WRITE THANKS FOR SHARING IT ON HERE.
LONG BUT SO POWERFUL
Mama and Papa sit by the phones.
Wife and family pray for the day their soldier come home safe and sound.
TWO LINES THAT ARE HAPPENING IN EVERYDAY LIFE FOR SOME PEOPLE.

[Augustus]

A very deceptively simple poem. The most alluring aspect of it is the bluntness with which the ideas are put across. No time is wasted in long descriptions of what goes through a soldier's mind. It is a simple, straightforward take on things. A soldier is steeled by constant loss and longing and he simply goes about his job, taking everything in his stride. At least, that's what it looks like at first sight.

But the poignant human being behind the soldier's stern mask is revealed in several places, such as in the lines

"Mama and Papa sit by the phones.
Wife and family pray for the day their soldier come home safe and sound.

Soldiers talk about kids and woman.
Takes up most of our time. "

or

" I stood with a mother of my friend killed in Iraq.
She held me up.
I saluted her son's gravestone."

No artistic elements used or indeed, required here. The stark matter-of-fact language in the lines lends it their beauty.

A very evocative piece of writing indeed!

[Maryum Mazhar]

Thats bitterweet.

Beautiful, but kinda sad too :) :/

[Sasha]

Very very moving poem.
The way the words are just thrown at you, without any masks, just raw emotion.
It brings in a certain deadliness to the poem.
Great work.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

You are an amazing poet. You speak reality and it works in your favor. I don't know what to say toward this poem except its incredibly deep. A struggle to realize one shadows...amazing.

[Jaco (Jaik Miller)]

I have a poem opposite to this one. It's short but it talks about how i've experienced nothing you've written about. Ill send you a read request.