The Dumb Diaries

Conversation between conflicted teen and audience. Survival of the teenage years. Honest and brutal depictions. Going through the motions. Reflecting on life. Pondering the bigger questions.

Introduction to Numbdamentals.

I am in pain. A lot.

Not so much the physically bone breaking, teeth grinding, heart stopping, fist clenching, “give me the f*****g epidural” kind of pain but something more along the lines of...well...these lines.

No. Not those lines.

Not the crimson lines I pathetically tried to carve into my wrist with the back of an old metal ruler in some sad self-pitying episode of anxious thought.

Not them.

And not the glimmering lines of coke and not the dusty phone lines on my smashed up 6 and not the tediously long lines at the local Coles and not the lines in my ex’s furrowed face as he said goodbye for “the last f*****g time”.

(Yeh. F**k you too Dan)

Not them. Not any single one of them.

No. I am here to talk about these lines. The lines I am writing as we speak.

Because these lines...

THESE LINES !!!

Are the best communication and explanation I can offer you regarding my rather melancholy experience of this world.

These lines will outlive me. These lines will still speak to you long, long, long after I’m gone.

And then I can only hope that you’ll listen.

That you’ll read these lines.

And maybe even go on to write some lines of your own.

Because that’s the funny thing about a line.

Where a line repeats itself, it goes on forever and ever and ever until...

Well...

you get the idea...

Simple geometry, right?

So let’s begin now.

Author's Note

result of frustration and a work in progress.

Reviews

[TwistedTwins]

I really enjoyed this!! Though it's kind of disturbing to think a teenager is feeling these things and doing hardcore drugs, but then again that's real life for some people. I liked the simplicity of it and the honesty. A baring of the soul without begging for acceptance. Well done. -- C

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Love this! Sharp and profound words. Eloquent, contemplative, inspiring analysis of self and work. Great style of first-person narration to reader and placement of longer and shorter lines for maximum impact. Flows well and is balanced with rhythmic cadence. Graphic witn dark imagery at times-“crimson lines” carved into a wrist. Love how you presented the act of writing as a vehicle to immortality- “THESE LINES”- yes. Great work!