A Daughter's Love

For every blow that fell 
upon my innocent flesh 
I shrunk away from you 

For every pain 
you caused my heart
I hid away in my secret place 
Went deep inside a world 
of fantasy and dreams 
Where I no longer had to see
the anger
that distorted your broken face 

You were my dad 
you were supposed to love me 
protect me 
but instead you murdered 
my soul 
sent me into a place 
of darkness
with your evil words 
and vicious blows

I was a just little girl 
and you were supposed 
to be my dad 
but instead you were the monster 
of my darkest dreams 
the fear of my heart 
the terror of my bones 
the worst nightmare 
I'd ever had 

You lashed at me 
with your wicked cane
tore my flesh to shreds 
made me cry until I couldn't breathe 
then sent me off to bed 

You hated every part of me 
tried to break my will 
I was just a little girl dad
and you know I loved you still 

You were a broken man 
a victim 
of your own painful life
of the actions of a woman 
who abandoned you 
to the night 
left you as a street kid 
in London 
fighting to survive 

I know why you were hurting dad 
but it still doesn't make it right 

Your solace came out of a bottle 
drunkenness your only friend 
But rage was your demon 
and it destroyed us in the end 

I was just a little girl dad 
who loved you with all I had
though you sent me into a world of pain 
because in your eyes 
I was bad 

You hit my mum 
and made her cry 
broke her spirit 
until she died 

I saw her fade 
before my eyes 
until her existence 
was no more 
than a lie 

I tired you know  
to stand up to you 
to take your rage 
upon myself 
To save her 
from your heartless blows 
to shield her from your belt
from the furniture 
that flew at her 
from across the room 
from the fatal despair 
that in the end 

lead to her doom 

I lured you away 
from her 
And you gave chase 
unto my soul 
Until you found me hiding
in the darkest corner
where only the spiders go 

I screamed in terror 
as you came 
upon me in that place 
I was just a little girl 
and you 
were filled with hate 

Yet I loved you still 
you were my dad 
and I was just a little girl

once again 
being punished for being bad

and for putting you through hell 

Do you remember dad 
how I cared for you 
when you were wandering 
through the streets 
A little girl of eight 
alone 
with a drunken beast 

I tried to save you dad
just as I tried to rescue mum
But at the end of the day 
I was just too bloody young 

You were supposed to parent me 
not the other way around 
protect me and rescue me 
from the fears that had me bound 

But instead you fed me to the fire 
allowed the world to steal my soul 
left me open to evil men 
until I payed the ultimate toll 

So this is where I stand today 
with memories that haunt my mind 
Knowing that no matter 
what you did to me 
through all those years behind 
it was nothing like the pain I felt 
on the day you died 

You see a daughter's love 
is hard to break
it can endure a million tears 
brought on by the dad she loved 
but had to learn to fear 
A daughter's love is strong 

you see
so I wanted to let you know
that I love you dad 
and I forgive you 
for every single blow 

Reviews

[KeeD]

"You lashed at me
with your wicked cane
tore my flesh to shreds
made me cry until I couldn't breathe
then sent me off to bed" Can't believe you made such an emotional stanza rhyme so well. Good job!
"Your solace came out of a bottle
drunkenness your only friend
But rage was your demon
and it destroyed us in the end " once again, wow.. this should be a poster on the wall of every AA group to remind them of the horrors of their past.
This is emotional and so sad and I don't even know what to say, but i'm sorry you had to go through all that. Nothing I say will make it okay and in my head temporary fixes, fix nothing. So i'm going to say this that you've been through hell and back and you've come out an angel where so many people would have given up you've fought, conquered the demons and now you're the light for others to stray away from the dark. Thank you for being you. I love the ending, forgiveness is the first step to moving on. "hugs"

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much Kee you are a sweet guy with a beautiful heart. Your words mean more to me than you could ever know.

[Salar Majak]

oh my god this is so very intense, i'm so sorry you hadto go through all of this hun, no one should go through it, a great write though, indeed, a great write.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much Aurora.

[jdr / Jennifer]

Beautiful, very emotional piece of work. It brought me back to my own dad & issues we've had & then his passing a couple of years ago- this poem really touched my heart. Thank you for sharing this- It brought tears to my eyes-

"You see a daughter's love
is hard to break
it can endure a million tears
brought on by the dad she loved
but had to learn to fear
A daughter's love is strong
you see"

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much

[Salar Majak]

:)

[XxTheFallenAngelxX]

I want to cry after reading this. It's so emotional, full of hurt, but... forgiveness triumphs.... I LOVED IT!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[Night]

...I can hardly speak, let alone fashion words to describe how this made me feel...To forgive your father after years of abuse is Godly. You are a light in this ever darkening world we live in...an example of love and strength. Incredible, this brought tears to my eyes. You are really something my friend...:)

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so so much David. Means so much to me.

[Night]

I'm glad...and you are very welcome..:)

[quinfinn]

this certainly left no stone unturned, searching for answers which will never come. you have answered every question within this write, known or not. i must say this is extremely well written and full of raw emotion and honesty. what a powerful piece!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much.

[quinfinn]

welcome