A Cinderella's Wish: The Prince (1)

A Cinderella's Wish: The Prince (1)

A Chapter by Celeste Park

Revised version.


I wiped some sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand. I was currently tending the front garden in the blazing heat in the middle of summer. I sighed. This was exhausting work. My mom had ordered me to clean up the weeds, mow the lawn, trim the hedges, clean the pool, water the gardens and clean up the tool shed. That was only the list she gave me for outside of the house. Inside the house, I had much more work to do.

As I pulled the weeds out of the flower garden, I thought back to the days when my father and I used to run around the property. We’d play outside all day until I got exhausted and fall asleep on his lap on the grass. I looked around me and sighed. That was long ago though. It’s been years since the last time I saw him. I stared at the ground, feeling my eyes begin to burn.

Celina!” I heard a man call my name.

I looked up to see my mom's boyfriend. “Hi, James,” I said, standing up. James was a lot taller than I was. So, I had to look up at him, shielding my eyes from the sun with my hand. It was around noon and he was wearing his work suit. “You’re home early today.”

Yes. I’m just dropping by to change and then I have to go to a client meeting. Remember to drink lots of water when you are out here. It’s pretty hot outside today,” he said, ruffling my hair. He was a nice guy, but no one could ever replace my real father.

I pouted as I tried to fix my hair. “Gotcha.”

He was going to walk away when he seemed to remember something, “Ah. I almost forgot. Your mother will be coming home late again today. Don’t worry about making dinner for her.”


With that James left to go inside the house. I went back to pulling out the weeds. A few hours later I was dying under the sun. I dropped everything and took off my gloves and went into the house. First thing I did was head straight to the kitchen. I didn’t bother to take off my shoes since I’d have to clean the floors later anyway. From the fridge, I took out the jug of filtered water and poured myself a glass. I quickly chugged down the water and poured myself another glass then I put the jug back into the fridge. I enjoyed my second glass of water slowly.

I finished my glass of water and sighed. It was time to get back to my chores. Fun stuff. Not. I walked out of the living room and into the foyer. Through the stained glass windows on the double doors I could see a couple of moving trucks drive pass. I open the door and walked outside. The moving trucks had stopped at the house on my left. I looked around to see if I’d be able to spot my new neighbours but they all seemed to be workers unloading the furniture. I shrugged my shoulders. I’d see them sooner or later.

I fell on to my bed in exhaustion. It was 5pm and I had finally finished my chores. Now I just had to make dinner. I groaned and rolled off my bed. Reluctantly, I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and started to cook dinner for James and I. Tonight's dinner was going to be lasagna, potato salad and apple pie for dessert. There would be no way I could cook a five course dinner all on my own. I was just one person.

I had just finished the dishes when James came home. He came into the kitchen, placing his briefcase on the ground beside the dinning table.

Something smells delicious, Celina,” he complimented.

It's probably the apple pie. I put it in the oven not long ago.”

I can't wait to try it. Do you need help with anything?”

I've got everything covered. Thanks though.”

James took a seat at the dinning table while I went to get the plates and cutlery. I quickly set up the table then went to get the lasagna and potato salad, placing them on the table as well. James started to serve himself and I went to get us each a glass of water. Finally, I sat down to enjoy the dinner. As we ate, James and I joked around and talked about random subjects. It was nice with only the two of us. When my mom had dinner with us, no one would say a word. And there would be an awkward silence in the air. That was when James would speak up and talk about business and the economy. Not a subject I was interested in.

After dinner, James helped me with the dishes. I got out the apple pie from the oven and cut out two slices, placing them on to two seperate plates. Then I went to the fridge and got out a tub of vanilla ice cream. I scooped two spoons on to each plate. James was finishing off the dishes while I brought the plates into the living room. I turned on the t.v., searching through the different channels. When James joined in, we decided to watch a movie instead.

James stayed until he finished his dessert. He had his own home to go back to.

I walked James to the door. “Goodnight,” I said. I wish he lived with us. My mom was nicer when James was around. And he was a great guy. I liked hanging out with him. Not to mention, I had a small crush on him when we first met. But now I saw him as an older brother.

James gave me a hug. “Night, Celina. Once again, thank you for the delicious dinner.” He bowed before leaving.

© 2012 Celeste Park

My Review

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A note on formatting, I wish there was spacing between the sentences. It is kind of squished down in a way that makes it harder to read.

There is a thing in writing called an info dump. It is where you tell all the background of a character up front, and in a way that doesn't draw the reader through it. Think about this while re-reading this piece.

A way to show your reader tidbits of information in an interesting way is through dialogue or action. Example: Two guys are peeling potatos. They are talking about how life used to be back before the robots took over. This is more interesting, because it evolves in a way that happens naturally. You could wait to talk about robots at the end of the dialogue to make it more mysterious. If this scene had a prologue all about how robots took over, it makes it less relatable to the characters.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago

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1 Review
Added on July 13, 2011
Last Updated on June 26, 2012


Celeste Park
Celeste Park


All stories are on hold until I get my life back together. I am starting to blog though. Please feel free to message me with advice/comments/anything really. more..