You

You

A Poem by Centipedle

I know I'm supposed to be the stronger one.
The one who walks away and leaves things as they are.
But I keep feeling this rope pulling tighter and tighter around my heart.
You know what, it's all because of you.

I put you on a throne.
I believed that I could entrust my heart to you.
You place lies on your tongue as if they were the air you breath.
You don't even know.

Born of wild thorns and severe burns.
You walk as if the world is burning at your feet.
Spewing words of sacred vows and strong views.
You tend to leave everyone else behind.

So the pain I feel is real.
It's a mistake I made.
But it is still all your fault.
You and how fake you really are.

© 2017 Centipedle


Author's Note

Centipedle
Been a while since I've been able to write poetry I actually liked... though the ending is a bit rough.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Great core of a poem which with a little editing could be much more impactful and effective Centi. For instance this -
"You know what, it's all because of you." would be more poetic (and therefore more appealing) as "And...it's all because of you."

And the repeat of similar sentiments such as 'burn and burning in close proximity renders them both less impactful, to me.

Good vent overall though.
:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

You've done a good job spewing some of the venomous things we often feel after a bad relationship! Good use of analogy: "I keep feeling this rope pulling tighter & tighter around my heart" . . . Very creatively crafted: "you place lies on your tongue as if they were the air you breathe" (I think you mean the verb form "breathe" with an "e" on the end). All in all, I don't believe in blaming another person becuz all relationship woes take two to get tangled up. But it's authentic, becuz that's how many people feel.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Great core of a poem which with a little editing could be much more impactful and effective Centi. For instance this -
"You know what, it's all because of you." would be more poetic (and therefore more appealing) as "And...it's all because of you."

And the repeat of similar sentiments such as 'burn and burning in close proximity renders them both less impactful, to me.

Good vent overall though.
:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really nice and detailed. I like it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


well done, well done. i like the whole god complex aura going on. nice piece

Posted 4 Years Ago


i think your speaker has successfully gotten a lot off his/her chest .. stinging truth telling ....hope the dirty bird gets the message not the worm ;)
E.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe

Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Stats

224 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 29, 2017
Last Updated on March 29, 2017

Author

Centipedle
Centipedle

Apple Valley, CA



About
Hi, my name is Pedle as an online handle. Don't be afraid of my username! Note about reading your stuff. I try to review as much as I can if you are on my list below. But the best SURE way to get .. more..

Writing
Mindset Mindset

A Story by Centipedle


Sea Sea

A Poem by Centipedle



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Tocsin Tocsin

A Poem by Ana B.


Etched In Stone Etched In Stone

A Poem by Gee