Sea

Sea

A Poem by Centipedle

I'm crawling through the endless sea.
And it's colored black so I can't see.
As my arms grew tired trying to stay afloat.
I'm sinking and the sadest part is not caring. 

My lungs are screaming in pain. 
I'm enjoying it none the less.
Sinking as long as my arms are moving.
I don't seem to be going anywhere though.

As I feel no bottom underneath me.
I give up on swimming.
Looking at the top that I can't see.
Letting the darkness surround me.

© 2017 Centipedle


Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Author's Note

Centipedle
Something about depression I suppose

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is a stark & realistic & well-written explanation of how it feels to be depressed or just simply not thriving in life. I believe there are many people who feel like this, which is sad. Your writing really captures the honesty of unlikeable feelings. It's almost like an homage to this feeling of despair, not glorifying it, but just honoring the way we feel when our will to live is weak.

Once again I've been gone a lot from this website recently, so I'm sorry I haven't read you lately. I'm catching up on read requests! Always enjoy reading you when I'm back! (((HUGS)))

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Centipedle

3 Years Ago

No problem I've been gone recently too and haven't been uploading as recently I honestly thought the.. read more



Reviews

Depression is something so many of us suffer from. Good detail description of the feeling.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Yea thats a good illustration of it

Posted 3 Years Ago


Sad poem but we share of feeling of depression united we stand end sadness pen on great work of words

Posted 3 Years Ago


well done ...i struggled and then sank right along with your protagonist .. the images profound and so tragic ..when darkness and drowning is better than the sunlight is exactly what depression and suicide related deaths are all about .. well done ... so tragic... so sad ... and the suffering person doesn't think to reach out at this point tho helping hands may be right there reaching ...i am moved by your poem ..and sending up my prayers right now for those who suffer so ..God bless and keep you my friend ...

Posted 3 Years Ago


This is a stark & realistic & well-written explanation of how it feels to be depressed or just simply not thriving in life. I believe there are many people who feel like this, which is sad. Your writing really captures the honesty of unlikeable feelings. It's almost like an homage to this feeling of despair, not glorifying it, but just honoring the way we feel when our will to live is weak.

Once again I've been gone a lot from this website recently, so I'm sorry I haven't read you lately. I'm catching up on read requests! Always enjoy reading you when I'm back! (((HUGS)))

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Centipedle

3 Years Ago

No problem I've been gone recently too and haven't been uploading as recently I honestly thought the.. read more
This poem has good content, if you wanted to improve, you might want to have a stronger pattern. At the end of the first and second line you had sea and see, so you might want to think of the second to last and last line use see and sea at the end as well. I also think using present tense would really improve it. You might also think of removing the words "And" along with "As" at the beginning of lines. I hope this helps, and I hope you don't mind me helping, keep it up. You are doing good.

Posted 3 Years Ago


A sad poem dear friend. Drowning is a bad way to go. Your description strong and realistic. Thank you for sharing the powerful poetry. Left something for the reader to think about.
Coyote

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

406 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 6, 2017
Last Updated on July 6, 2017

Author

Centipedle
Centipedle

Apple Valley, CA



About
Hi, my name is Pedle as an online handle. Don't be afraid of my username! Note about reading your stuff. I try to review as much as I can if you are on my list below. But the best SURE way to get .. more..

Writing
Mindset Mindset

A Story by Centipedle



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Summer Breeze Summer Breeze

A Poem by Dave


First Kiss First Kiss

A Poem by Dave