Unicorns? No.

Unicorns? No.

A Story by Century

So the phrase "Unicorns? No." popped in my head last night, and I drew a very sarcastic picture of Calitan saying said phrase. I wrote this cause I couldn't write anything else...


"Cali baby, please come?"

"Why? Why do you want me to come?" Alsie was up to his old tricks again… damn I had even started calling him Alsie.

"BECAUSE THERE ARE UNICORNS!" He shrieked and I couldn't stifle the chuckle that escaped my lips.

"Unicorns? No." I didn't mean it though. I'd end up going to the stupid fair with the stupid unicorns. I knew how this went, we'd been through it a million times now. 


"Alsie you know I'm going to go anyway, do you ever lose this fight?"

His frown went right upside down and he squeaked. Squeaked. I didn't know they did that…

Ah, the fair. A magical land of bloodsucking vendors, overpriced amusement ride tickets, and heart-clogging fried anything. It was a fall fair, so things were already getting chilly at four thirty. And my little lovey had so cleverly forgotten his hoodie and was shivering.

"Calitan can I have your jacket for a couple minutes?" Alson asked in his sweetest voice. I narrowed my eyes.

"Why should we both suffer for your mistake?" 

Carrie, Alson's friend, glared at me, but Alsie just raised his eyebrow at me and tapped his food, hands on his hips, in the fashion of an angry housewife. Rolling my eyes, I slipped off my leather jacket, and slung my arm around Alson's shoulder. He was stealing my jacket so it was only fair I take some of his body heat…

How Alson had convinced Carrie to come, I didn't know. I had suspicions that she hated me with a dark passion, though I had no means of proving it. She was something of a hippie, sort of like Alsie, the "love everyone and everything" type. Basically the opposite of me in every way. We tended to clash, especially when it came to Alson. She thought I didn't deserve him, wasn't that a riot.

"Awwww looooooook." Alson squeaked, again, and I looked away from Carrie's brooding face and in the direction of his swinging pointer finger. Baby goats. Everywhere. Okay not everywhere, but there were at least twenty of them bouncing around in a little pen, playfully butting heads, making little bleating noises. I shuddered. 

Of course, Alsie was practically in the pen, groping for the adorable little creatures. He giggled furiously as one started suckling on his pinkie finger. 

"Cal, aren't they adorable? We should get one…" He moaned, petting another little black goat.

"Alson, we live in a college dorm." I replied.

"He could stay under my bed, I don't use it!" 

"Bad idea honey. I'm pretty sure we'd get kicked out." I ruffled his hair lovingly, and surprise, Carrie glared. Whether I was bitchy to Alson or sweet to him, which, I admit was rare, she disapproved. He was oblivious to it, though, so I just grinned at her. That pissed her off more. 

This, this was why I liked men. Women were just so damn confusing. 

We eventually moved on from the baby goats, to Alson's dismay, through a row of vendors practically sucking our dicks in exchange for a game. At Alson's prompting, I did one, and guess what I won him? Yeah, a unicorn plushie. I really needed to get to the root of this lack of willpower I've been having. 

After strolling around the fair for a long, long hour, me freezing my a*s off, Alson suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

"You having a fit?" I asked, but then looked to where his own eyes were directed. I sighed but smiled. Unicorns.

Alson galloped towards the barn, but slowed when he got closer to not spook the majestic animals. Leaving me awkwardly alone with Carrie…

I didn't bother trying to make conversation with her. It would only be met with fire and ice. We followed Alson to the horse-- I mean Unicorn barn. The fake metallic horns had been exquisitely glued to the unfortunate animal's heads. They were obvious to the sudden rush of attention. 

Some had glitter painted on their fur and in their manes, others rainbow ribbons weaved into their hair. It was quite a spectacle, and quite a scam. I couldn't imagine how much money had been made on little girls coming for the unicorns and unicorns alone.

I watched amusedly as Alson skittered around, petting every unicorn and kissing their noses. So I was cold, forced to eat fried dough for dinner and was petting a fake unicorn. At least my boy was happy.

About regaining my will power...

© 2010 Century

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"You mean unicorns aren't real?" I miss Sam and Dean...

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Added on September 1, 2010
Last Updated on September 1, 2010



Nawthpawt, ME

Ariel's the name, how do you do. Writing is one of my many passions, so, upon learning about the existence of WritersCafe, I bolted our of Quizilla land in hopes of finding a community dedicated to qu.. more..