Flawless Stream of Whispers

Flawless Stream of Whispers

A Poem by Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm
"

Your flawless stream of whispers is now shedding tears...........

"
Your flawless streams of whispers are now shedding tears
Where will they look now when all is loosened
Quite forgotten are the memories that have scarred
This heart can no longer feel them
They are translucent

The dripping sound of pain is no longer heard here in the now
Only lovely music breaks from the soul within
Where will your whispers watch their flawless flow
When the tongue that leads their voice
Is never heard again

I hope that as you leave you will feel the pain you stream
It will haunt every corner your life meets
Then perhaps one day neither of us will remember
Your flawless streams of whispers
Or their deceit

Your flawless streams of whispers are now shedding tears
That can be washed away in the tide of change
Quite forgotten will be the memories and all the scars
As our hearts will no longer feel them
Nor will we be estranged

© 2011 Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm


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Lessening the pain of disappointment and heartbreak; sometimes it seems there is little we can do. Yet the tide of life, of time, works away even the most fossilized emotions...one way or the other they will grow faint.

Very nice metaphor...an genuine, poetic effort.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a very nice heartfelt poem. Deep and cutting at times. excellent visuals an flow. My only concern is the next to last stanza 4th line feels too close to the first line of the next stanza. Kinda stumbled there.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I might be wrong, but to me, your poem sounds like a ballad. It's very lyrical and I can hear music while going through the words.
And coincidently, that's my favourite part, which mentions music: "The dripping sound of pain is no longer heard here in the now
Only lovely music breaks from the soul within"

The title is awesome too, perfectly connected to the whole piece.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i love how you paint the forgotten memories as being translucent - and how "flawless" is repeated in each stanza, like a bookmark...

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"I hope that as you leave you will feel the pain you stream
It will haunt every corner your life meets
Then perhaps one day neither of us will remember
Your flawless streams of whispers
Or their deceit "
Each touch leave a mark or scar of people we touched and needed. Like when we meet a old lover. A icy wall seem to rose up. Maybe a wall of safety or a desire to forget. I like the complete poem. A very good ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nice poem! and great use of a metaphor. i love it! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

your thoughts all gel well here i like the way you write it is uniqu

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

such power in whispers , and guidance in the light that emits from the horizon of change , beautiful Neva

Posted 8 Years Ago


I think that your poem was very well written. And that people can relate some how. Any who I can't wait to read more! You are a gifted writer and keep up the amazing writes! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Heartrending and very saddening this "Flawless Stream of Whispers"
Poignantly penned...


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like your writing Neva since the first poem i read way last summer... this is very well written. The phrase and title "Flawless stream of whispers" is beautiful in itself.. the thought is so poetic.
Sad like a broken heart yet beautiful like a first love's kiss.. too bad sometimes the kiss turns to this.

Chloe

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1210 Views
14 Reviews
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Added on March 18, 2011
Last Updated on March 18, 2011
Tags: pain, tears, estrange, scars, heart

Author

Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm
Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm

GA



About
Hello, I am Neva, 4i, from Atlanta, Georgia. My latest book and videos: My latest book - Mailing Letters to the Moon rm_f1st('6','182','true','false','000000','av2j3.. more..

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