In the Shadows of Wanting More

A path to evening drops into life
like a maze full of sin.
Complete with smiles
no poet can divide.
Protection from the air is grim
same as a marriage
woven in a mist
of distrust and lies.

A sad, sad spell enchants your hands
when you lie naked
in the shadows of wanting more.
You cannot help but wonder
if this means
you are dead to the skies
lying between anguish
and the path to evening, keeping score.

Your feet fill in the gaps
saying farewell to sacrifice
when midnight strikes
yet does not save you again.
You cannot walk the path to evening
if you do not know
your way out
of the maze full of sin.

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Through the entire reading of this work, I was trying if not struggling to remember a song from the 90's. The beginning made me think of a piano solo, thankfully I was able to remember the song. But to read something and remember a song from the mid 90's.....well that just about takes the cake in my book.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAHbZsg95M0

[An owl on the moon]

Your words paint forth the life of pleasure tainted with lies... what could be a room of pure joy, now more of a prison... The enchantment is all that keeps one in that moment, for the reality is too stark to bare. Powerful, my friend.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Just wow.

[Alana McGuire]

This is written so so well. I really like it.
"Protection from the air is grim
same as a marriage
woven in a mist
of distrust and lies."
Those lines really stood out to me.
Amazing write :)

[Rene Velez]

you chose your words and lines well, i can see the puzzle pieces in your rhyme. If that makes any sense to you. nice read Neva.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Amazing piece...that I love to read...
wording and phrasology...I strive for it..
excellent :)

[?]

Neva, this is a relatable piece...wonderful..well written
The ending says it all, my dear.

Your feet fill in the gaps
saying farewell to sacrifice
when midnight strikes
yet does not save you again.
You cannot walk the path to evening
if you do not know
your way out
of the maze full of sin.

[Ruth]

Oh Neva! This is has struck such a resonating chord! Your work always does love, profound xoxo

[Inyourshadow]

How many of us have lost our way within this maze my friend. Looking to escape our sin through absolution and finding only another dead end waiting.
The emotion and imagery as always spot on. Keep em' coming

[EMF]

Not only is this a wonderful poem, but it tells a wonderful story. I love the way you use words, to weave your story. It lifts all emotions to a hieghtened state. You force the reader to think with the power of your work. And such a story. Lies, Sin, Temptation, but the resolution is left to the reader, and they become again a part of your work. No mere observer. Wonderful work Neva.

[Larry Dyson]

yes ..our evenings in metaphoical sense and in the physical sense IS A mAZE OF MANUVERS AND FEELINGS.. FOR A KEPT WOMAN OR A WIFE OF AN UPWARDLY MOBILE TEAM...THE LAST ACT OF THE PLAY OF LIFE..AS WELL..GREAT THINKING nEVA..