Contest: 100 words of dialogue

Contest: 100 words of dialogue

A Story by CharlieO
"

A little piece dialogue for a competition.

"

 

‘You haven’t changed a bit.’
‘Neither have you’
‘Still no sugar and …’
‘Only a splash of milk. I can’t believe you have remembered that.’
‘Its not really been that long, three years I think’
‘Really? It feels a lot longer. So much has happened.’
‘So what are you doing here?’
‘Can’t a girl just drop in on an old friend when she is in his vicinity?’
‘We were never just friends.’
‘Don’t stay it like that’
‘Clearly the years haven’t made it less complicated.’

‘They haven’t made it any less painful either, but then I didn’t expect they would.’

© 2008 CharlieO


Author's Note

CharlieO
I know there is no description but that is all part of the contest. This is a scene from a novel I may one day attempt to write.
I know this will be hard to review, but if you have anything to say about it then please do (provided its constructive)

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Despite the shortness of the piece, and the lack of exposition, there is a noticable difference between the characters. The female voice repeatedly has longer sentences, and seems to be more reflexive upon the conversation. The male voice leads, and has shorter, more precise sentences: despite being cut off early in the piece.

This piece would work well with some exposition -- it is difficult to properly grasp here, and I feel that it would be better rounded out with some explanation of the characters somewhat. I know that you weren't allowed to for this contest, and to be honest I don't think that you should put it in at this point. Maybe if you were to extend the scene. That's where I'd want to have a bit more of a solid ground. Or at least a lot of suggestions and foreshadowing beforehand.

You control the dialogue really well, and have distinct characters. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Well done, my dear!

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Even if it's only a short scene the characters felt pretty defined and interesting. Feels like a dialogue straight out of a book that I would most likely enjoy reading, great job c:

Posted 2 Years Ago


Very cool. There's an easy flow between them that suggests their familiarity. Good choice to have them "share" a sentence-it really adds to the feeling that you're reading a story despite it's berevity and forced limitations. Good luck.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I loved it. I felt the dialogue jumped off the page at me. While I could only conjecture on the past events leading up to this, I felt that I was watching a movie as I read it. If that's not the highest compliment I can give, then I don't know what is.


Posted 11 Years Ago


This is an...intriguing piece of writing here. I've never read 'just' dialogue before, so it was a new experience for me. Needless to say -in my opinion, at least- this was a well-written piece for dialogue. It makes me feel like the woman has a somewhat more vast intellectual skill here, which is perfectly fine.

I like how there is a hidden action here; a mystery for the reader to use their imagination to guess what happened between the two in their past. Since it is a male and female, one could only imagine what happened between them. Maybe a spring fling or something along those lines? That would be my guess, anyways. I greatly enjoyed this writing. I look forward to reading the novel that you are destined to write. Good luck on the contest!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Despite the shortness of the piece, and the lack of exposition, there is a noticable difference between the characters. The female voice repeatedly has longer sentences, and seems to be more reflexive upon the conversation. The male voice leads, and has shorter, more precise sentences: despite being cut off early in the piece.

This piece would work well with some exposition -- it is difficult to properly grasp here, and I feel that it would be better rounded out with some explanation of the characters somewhat. I know that you weren't allowed to for this contest, and to be honest I don't think that you should put it in at this point. Maybe if you were to extend the scene. That's where I'd want to have a bit more of a solid ground. Or at least a lot of suggestions and foreshadowing beforehand.

You control the dialogue really well, and have distinct characters. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

Well done, my dear!

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

331 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on July 4, 2008

Author

CharlieO
CharlieO

Southampton, United Kingdom



About
Hello there, I'm have been on this site for a couple of months now.I have just started writing again having gotten bogged down in work for my university course (English Literature at Southampton Uni).. more..

Writing
Lossing You Lossing You

A Poem by CharlieO



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Tenderness Tenderness

A Poem by CharlieO