Thirst

Thirst

A Poem by Chellie
"

Vampire poetry. Prompt from oneword.com

"

Blood boiling in his veins

Pulse heavy in his neck

Eyes like crimson

 

Fangs elongate

Hunger beating though him

Thirst taking over

 

Target in sight

Rush of adrenaline

Ready to strike

 

Teeth puncturing skin

Screams fill the air

Blood draining

 

Body falls to the ground

Smile graces his lips

Thirsty no more

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2011 Chellie


Author's Note

Chellie
For a contest.

I had to use a prompt from oneword.com. It has become one of my favorite websites. It always gives me ideas. The word today was thirst. It went perfect for what I was in the mood to write. Enjoy.

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Featured Review

I agree, prompts are really an inspiration to us, it knock out the ideas inside us which cannot be used normally, but it's always helpful! I love this, a very simple and short poem, but I love the flow of it, very smooth, I agree that you can give more details, maybe on the victim? Make the readers scream when we read it! However, I love the details and descriptions you've given, keep it up!
Nice Job!
BTW, good luck on the contest :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I don't this part:
"Body falls to the ground
Smile graces his lips
Thirsty no more".

He smiled when he fell to the ground?
What he is looking for?

Other than that... it was really great. I felt a beat while I am reading it like it was in a suspense or scary movie.

Keep up the good work :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I agree, prompts are really an inspiration to us, it knock out the ideas inside us which cannot be used normally, but it's always helpful! I love this, a very simple and short poem, but I love the flow of it, very smooth, I agree that you can give more details, maybe on the victim? Make the readers scream when we read it! However, I love the details and descriptions you've given, keep it up!
Nice Job!
BTW, good luck on the contest :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice write... but give me more details! Not even borderline scary...

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oneword. (See what I did there? xD) Wowwww.
I don't usually enjoy poems about vampires, or any mythical creatures, really, but there's something about this that I can't ignore. I'm not sure exactly why it's so great, all I know is that it /is/ really, really great.
Good job. :D

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Too ghoulish for me! I get thirsty for other pleasures....equally hot :-)

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Prompts are great for getting us to explore our talents in other ways. I feel you did with your prompt and applied it to a story or description of a vampire. I like your versus they were short and smooth and they show your poetry style is changing too. I do believe you maybe enjoying writing poetry a little bit more than you did in the past. Good job on the write and the prompt.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 10, 2011
Last Updated on April 10, 2011

Author

Chellie
Chellie

CA



About
I am a writer of many genres and styles. I love poetry, short stories, and novels. If I had it my way I would spend my days sunning in the pool with a book in my hands. And at night writing till my he.. more..

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