Old Metal

cutting reflection

Old Metal

It feels good to me,

that cold blade

against my skin.

That burning pain

I recieve

as I press it deeper

and deeper

into my skin.

I watch

as my blood boils

out from the cut.

Soon, I can't control

myself, and I slice

and scrape

more at my skin.

I found my

arms covered with

blood when I finished. The

scabs turned to

scars and my arms become a

used piece of metal.

Cold and

covered in scars.

Author's Note

what do you think about the breaks? Is the anything you would suggest changing about it?

Reviews

[lee von cleef]

Cold and covered, still great,

[Crazy Cat Man]

YIKES. Frightening piece on cutting one's self. great piece though

[thatbryngirl]

powerful but i would change the breaks in it... for example, "blood when I finished. The" i wouldnt do that, i would just add the "the" to the beginning of the following line... but that's just me... other than that, very good.

[deeps]

This is a powerful write here.
Feelings well expressed.

[Kitten]

How is metal scared? Metal is generally prided on being smooth and durable. I hope to read more by you and see how you improve. Very nice start, however.

The self mutilation doesn't earn too many big points but this was an interesting piece.

[M.Kilani]

I thought it would sound more like metal music lyrics, yet it seems to be one of those Emo's songs ... any how the images were good , the suicidal message was too obvious it lost its meaning, you need to work more on the flow keep it up