My mountain

My mountain

A Poem by Rae CJ

A breeze,

soft as a kiss as it blows over

a creek, that brushes over small stones

that it tries to hide in it's sweater of trees.

You stand tall, reaching high to the sky.

Snow tops, remind me,

of your age transforming

from new to old.

© 2010 Rae CJ


Author's Note

Rae CJ
This is an old piece of mine. I open for suggestions to change.

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Reviews

Sweater of trees, use more of these, great!

Posted 11 Years Ago


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Exactly what I feel when I go to the mountain. This touches my heart in the bestest ways! 100/100

Posted 11 Years Ago


wow great poem i enjoyed this one

Posted 11 Years Ago


Clever, with great metaphors. Really well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


yeah..
nice..
this one's creative:
"it's sweater of trees"
good work..

Posted 13 Years Ago


"Its sweater of trees" one of the most beautiful expressions I've read :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


simple enough but well expressed, nice work...i'm a little confused by the 2nd to last line tho. the part about "you age transforming" is that a typo or am I just reading it wrong?


Posted 13 Years Ago


Wow this is truly amazing. Describing someone like a mountain can symbolise a lot of things. I don't really know how you want the reader to see this person as. But I see people described as mountains sometimes as obstacles to overcome or someone who has there head held high and looks down at people like insects. But yet again this write is remarkable

Posted 13 Years Ago



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154 Views
10 Reviews
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Added on July 2, 2010
Last Updated on July 5, 2010

Author

Rae CJ
Rae CJ

NE



About
I LOVE writing. I would do it 24/7 if I got the chance. I enjoy dancing and playing basketball and will never turn down a good movie more..

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