Lover’s Light

Lover’s Light

A Poem by Cheri Roberts

The inky depth of darkest night

Is broken by the lover’s light

Sprinkled bits read from afar

Our love is written on a star.

© 2013 Cheri Roberts


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Very simple - perhaps a little too simple? There's nothing innately wrong with quatrains, but the rhyming on this one seems a little too childish for my tastes - perhaps break it up into A - B - A - B instead of A - A - B - B? Just a suggestion. As it stands, your content is good, and there's plenty of meaning that can be gleaned from this piece, but as it stands I'm just really not feeling it. It's a good sentiment, but I can't help but feel as though it could be expressed better.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cheri Roberts

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your review. It is probably the shortest and simplest "poem" I have ever written actua.. read more



Reviews

"Our love is written on a star" I like this, it say so much in so few words. Nice.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cheri Roberts

8 Years Ago

Thank you. I thought so :)
Very simple - perhaps a little too simple? There's nothing innately wrong with quatrains, but the rhyming on this one seems a little too childish for my tastes - perhaps break it up into A - B - A - B instead of A - A - B - B? Just a suggestion. As it stands, your content is good, and there's plenty of meaning that can be gleaned from this piece, but as it stands I'm just really not feeling it. It's a good sentiment, but I can't help but feel as though it could be expressed better.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Cheri Roberts

8 Years Ago

Thank you for your review. It is probably the shortest and simplest "poem" I have ever written actua.. read more

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306 Views
2 Reviews
Added on February 12, 2013
Last Updated on February 12, 2013
Tags: lovers, love, romance, cosmos, soul mate, poetry

Author

Cheri Roberts
Cheri Roberts

Tigard, OR



About
Cheri has worked in media for more than 20 years in one capacity or another. Her media years were spent mostly in broadcast radio; from being a live on-air radio host to creating and implementing en.. more..

Writing