A mother's love at Christmas

A Mother's love that never really was .. A mother with depression , a mother who neglected , a mother who lies, a mother who smiles sweetly.. It hurts .. But, sun still shines in this heart..

They say that Christmas is a time to be jolly 

but it can be painful too 

each year we hold our secrets

our pains, our rage

I can smile sweetly  

but that grief is just behind the door 

no words are spoken but plenty made 

you all want to forget 

but I cant 

I wont pretend 

you cant give a gift at Christmas 

and expect my hurts to just go away

where is your heart lady 

you are cold and sorely sold 

do you really think that things are truly OK 

you are meant to be a mother but your bird she flew away 

and now you just pop the pills and hide in sinners disguise 

i'm so angry ,i'm so hurt because you just can't acknowledge your dirty work 

but hopefully I wont let it get me down , wont give my power away 

what's the point , by now I've learnt it never gets me anywhere 

I hope I can forgive you one day ,have compassion for your soul 

hug you at Christmas and honestly feel a warm bond 

with you, my dear Mother 

Cant you see my tears ? 

I've been crying them for years 

spitting my rage at you 

but you just play victim 

make this girl feel small 

POOR YOU, poor you ..

Happy Christmas Mother and now I must pray 

May I see my gifts , for right now, I am still blind with my hurts 

deep in the dark , stabbed in the heart 

help me to be free 

free of you and your disease 

it's not my fault, wish I would believe that 

everyday I wish I would believe that 

and not be a slave 

for a mother's love 

on a snowy Christmas day ..

Reviews

[CrushedPepperMinTCHrist..]

I'm weird about tht poem;s picture :OO but it's nice job great :)

[Lily Mae]

Depression is such a soul sucker.. and unless treated or understood it can steal from us the beauty of so many moments.. Not just Christmas but the first date.. the great report card.. all the simple things are non existent.. I felt this to my core.. Excellent write on a tough topic..xo

[Tenebrousoul]

"wont pretend
you cant give a gift at Christmas
and expect my hurts to just go away"
I loved this part especially. I can relate. My dad was abusive growing up, one Christmas leaving us for another family. This is really powerful and emotional. Good luck. Keep up the great work.

[Susanna F]

This is so powerful and raw, with the setting of Christmas showing such a contrast between ideal and reality. Very well done. I particularly like these lines:

hopefully I wont let it get me down, wont give my power away
what's the point, by now I've learnt it never gets me anywhere

It shows a strong heart that can learn from the mistakes of others.