Kiss Who?

Kiss Who?

A Story by T. L. O'Neal

This is a story about going to a concert in 1976 and the going ons at it. True story.




Written by: T. L. O’Neal


    Back in 1976 when I was fifteen, it was at one of those ages where you just weren’t s**t. You won’t old enough to drive or get a worker’s permit and you already were a teenager for two years, so you didn’t have that to look forward to anymore either. But there was one thing that I did want to do though… that was to go to a KISS concert. They were those guys that had their faces all painted-up with the wild looking costumes, and they looked like a cross between some creepy clowns and some cheap prostitutes. They were right cool back then but it does seem a bit foolish now, it’s just amazing how a few years can change how you see things.


   Now, in that time and place in the rock world, there wasn’t anyone bigger or better to go see. They were the tops on the concert tour; well, to me anyways. I was and everyone else for that matter wanted to go but the thing was how to get there; like I said, I was just fifteen. So the only thing to do was to figure out how to get those twenty-five miles to the coliseum. I could hitchhike or walk like I always did to get around, but I really didn’t care to try that because I would probably be too late or too tired to enjoy it when I got there.


   Being the resourceful type, I started to weigh my options and to make a plan of action. Dad lived fairly close to Raleigh, so that would help in getting a whole lot closer. So I asked Dad if I could stay with him that weekend for I could go to the concert. He said he didn’t care, he never did care about anything for that matter, but this time it was just fine with me.


    All I had to do now was to find a way to get from Dad’s to the concert. There was this girl that lived in his neighborhood that I liked, she had long auburn hair and a face full of freckles, she was my dream girl. Anyways, I asked her if she wanted to go and of course she did. As luck would have it, her older brother was going so we could ride with him. I got the tickets and all was set. The night of the concert we all got together and were driving to it when her brother pulled out a joint and started to smoke it. Then his friend did and then she smoked some of it too. At last I was the only one left and she handed it to me, now I was faced with a dilemma. I didn’t care for the stuff but I didn’t want to look bad either… especially in her eyes. So I went against my conscience and took a hit off of it too.


   I should have been like President Clinton and not inhaled, but it was too late. The die was cast and I was messed up more than I wanted to be. Actually I didn’t want to do it at all but I did want to fit in, and besides she did it and I wasn’t going to look like a wuss to her. Looking back I was mighty stupid to do something that I didn’t want to do… just to impress a girl. I knew that then but just dismissed it out of my head.


   We made it to the coliseum in one piece, amazing I know, and got out of the car. I could see by the looks of others there that they probably should have pulled a Clinton too. It looked like a war-zone with people passed out, vomiting and in different stages of intoxication. Some had their faces painted like the band members, and of course it wasn’t the best makeup jobs either. I did learn something though; makeup and puke don’t mix. But I was sure glad that everyone seemed to be having a good time but I felt like s**t just the same.


  After we got into the concert, that girl ran into some friends and quickly left my side. It was quite a coincidence that she ran into these people… as if it was planned. And to tell you the truth, I think it was. She just wanted someone to buy her a ticket and that was it. Of course my feelings were hurt, the ones that weren’t numbed by the pot that is. So I went off on my own and rambled around, not having much interest in being there or seeing the concert anymore either.


   I just walked aimlessly around the coliseum trying to get away from all the people pushing and shoving; I never was one much for crowds. I didn’t want to be on the floor, it was standing room only. So I went high up in to the stands to take a seat away from most of the people. Just my luck, this guy and his girlfriend I guess they were, came and sat down behind me. I didn’t particularly care for this, since I was the loner type and not much on being around people. What they did next was even worse and really got on my nerves. Those two stripped off their clothes and started to go at it behind my seat. Now, why would anyone want to do that is beyond me, especially since neither one of them was anything to write home about. That girl wasn’t that good looking, and that was obvious by the homely guy she was with. He wasn’t nothing but a walking zit and most of them were on his a*s. I was never one to show my a*s; well not in public anyways, so this was quite a mystery to me. I might be a country boy and they just might do things differently here in the big city, but I’ve never seen anything like that before. I mean I’ve seen dogs out in the yard before doing it but at least their asses weren’t covered in pimples.


   Anyways, between her fake moans and screams to make pimple boy feel like a man and his overly white a*s covered with zits flashing up and down behind me, I had about enough of that s**t. My night wasn’t going too good already and I sure didn’t pay to see these too ugly asses screwing behind me. So I took my drink that I had in my hand and poured it on top of the horny dogs, it was just like putting a hose on dogs in such a situation… and it worked. They picked up their clothes and left, pimples and all. I didn’t particularly want to sit there now anyway; all you could smell was spilled Coke and nasty a*s. So I thought of some different options so I wouldn’t have this problem again.


    I then came up with this great idea, as great of an idea as one can get being high that is. There were these balcony boxes hanging way up on the walls that you had to get to by ladders; I think they used them at times for spotlights or something like that. Anyways, I thought to myself, you know that would be a good place to get and watch everything from… and it was. Plus I didn’t have to put up with a load of screamers, screwers or pimply-assed people. So I shimmied up there and took my place and kept an eye out for the cops too.


   The whole experience was surreal from up there, because everyone on the floor looked small and seemed to move as one. There was this one guy that a cop was chasing, I’m not sure what for, but he was running down the floor to the crowd and it opened right up for him. When the cop got there to the crowd… it slammed shut like a door. It really did, the most amazing thing I ever saw up to that point and time. That police officer tried his best to get in but he couldn’t even get past the first line of people, but the other guy ran through the whole crowd like it was nothing.


    After the cop couldn’t get in and was purely flustered with the crowd, he went back and tried to do his job. It was about at this time that a Frisbee came flying through the air and hit him in the back of the head. With that the crowd went wild, but I kind of felt sorry for the poor fella. I don’t know if this was regular duty for him or just a side job, whichever it was that poor fella sure didn’t get paid enough to put up with all of that.


   Well, the concert finally did start and the crowd was going wild with all the clapping and yelling that you would expect… that is till they saw who it was.  It was the opening act and I never had heard of them and I was pretty sure no one else had either. By their name you could tell that they were going to be lame… are you ready for this? It was the “Raisin Band.” I heard all of you groan with that just like everyone there did. They would’ve been better off if you had just fed them to the lions instead of putting them in front of that audience… it would have been more merciful too. They started to play to all the boos and hisses from the audience; those poor guys were having a hard time with it and the people just made it worse. Finally when KISS was ready to come on and when the Raisin Band announced it, you couldn’t hear a thing because it was so loud. I think part of it was because KISS was coming on and the other part was because the Raisin Band was going off. They hung their heads down like a bunch of whooped pups and I never heard of that band again, before or since. Whatever happened to them I just couldn’t say, those guys are probably accountants for some company now.


    KISS finally came on with all of the noise, smoke and lights that you would expect for something like that, and it was loud all right and something to see for sure. They were jumping around and playing like nothing I’d ever seen before. They were all over the place; you would of thought that their shoes were on fire.


   About that time I saw my cousin down below and hollered at him. He did seem surprised to see me in my crow’s-nest up there and I have to admit I was a bit tickled to be up there in such a nice sit. He told me to come down, so I did... just not the way that I had planned to. In my state as it were, I lost my balance and flipped out of that box forward. I couldn’t tell you how that all happened, but it did and I was falling a good distance to the concrete below. Luckily for me there were a lot of people standing together under me and I landing on nothing but heads and shoulders, and then slid off of them and right onto my feet as slick as a whistle. I brushed myself off and gave a hardy “Thank you” to them all. Well sir, I was polite and all but it wasn’t so well received. I guess they didn’t care much for manners or the simple fact that I almost broke a half of dozen of their necks.


    My cousin and me walked down to the floor and worked our way to the front of the stage. It was pure mayhem but a lot of fun and it was right damn crazy there too. There was this one guy passed out in a speaker, how he didn’t wake up with all that noise coming out of there is beyond me. Those speakers were huge and I’m pretty sure of one thing, I bet even now that if you asked him something he would say,


“What, you say something?”


   He wasn’t the brightest light in the Christmas tree if you know what I mean. It was about that time that Gene Simmons, he was the bass player for the band, did his blowing fire out of his mouth bit. That was pretty cool and everyone seemed to enjoy it, so this one guy enjoyed it so much that he decided to do it himself. He was sitting on this other guy’s shoulders and blew that fire right out of his mouth and did a good job at it too… till it blew back on him and caught his head on fire that is. I’ve heard of the term “flaming” before referring to some people, this must be what they were talking about. He was flaming all right; hell that boy was on fire.


   That poor fella was beating his head and trying to put it out and then fell off that guy’s shoulders straight to the floor, still on fire mind ya. That other fella did all he could do at the time I guess, he tried to stomp it out. I’m sure it was good for putting the fire out but it probably wasn’t worth a damn for that boy’s face and head. After all that excitement we just looked back at the stage like everybody else and forgot about the flaming boy. Then old Gene was up there just looked towards that guy and shook his head. You know in one of those “you stupid a*s” headshakes that your parents would always give you.


    A little while later after a certain song, this other guy in the band, Paul Stanley, took his guitar and broke it on stage. Now I don’t know why this guy would want to do that, it seemed like it was a good guitar and it sounded all right, maybe it shorted out and shocked him and pissed him off. It was an electric one you know. He sure did seem to have a temper the way he was beating that thing up, and then he threw it out into the audience. Everyone seemed thrilled over that for some reason except the one that got hit in the head with it. These concerts sure are dangerous as hell, I’m glad I wasn’t down there in front with those guys.


   With the other guy’s guitar smoking and the drummer going up in the air, it was a good show. It was just like a circus almost without all the animal poop, oh and the music was good too. I don’t know whatever happened to that girl and her brother, I guess she was still with that guy she met up with. They probably got married and have a half dozen kids by now. Anyways, I just caught a ride back with my cousin and whoever he was with.


   All in all I had a good time I guess, but it still lingers in my mind that I was bought and used for the price of a concert ticket. But that’s the way it goes I reckon and I’m probably better off. If she would use me for that, I sure feel sorry for the old boy she married.


© 2010 T. L. O'Neal

My Review

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Featured Review

Well, first of all, I'm glad you're back. Congrats on the feature.
And second of all, I really enjoyed this story. As usual, it's well written story about a concert visit that went seriously wrong at first (due to your date back then using you for a ticket, and the guy with the pimply a*s!lol...), but turned out well in the end. This story is also quite entertaining, and really good in general.

Nice job. Thanks for sharing.:)

Posted 14 Years Ago

10 of 10 people found this review constructive.


She was a mean girl!!! You have to kiss alot of frogs until you meet your princess....Glad you got back in one piece.The story was Great!! Brings back some old memories...

Posted 10 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I was into KISS at the same time you were. I would draw them and passed the habit onto my little sister. She became a graphic artist! KISS was my first love and I was infatuated with Peter Criss (since I liked cats, too) Thank you so much for bringing back these memories and creating new ones with your entertaining story! Your story took me on a wild ride! It made the KISS concert I went to in Miami seem mundane. I've said this before, but you really have a nice way of telling things!

Posted 13 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You always make me laugh so hard when I read your stories T!!!!! I really laghed at the part when the guy was trying to be like Gene and cought his head on fire, he fell off and the guy started stomping on his face??
LOL now thats funny. I have been to 100's of concerts and have had all kinds of funny and wild stuff happen, but thats for another story. This was a great story and from everyones comments it must of been when you came back? And it made featured story? Congrats!!
Great story T! Thanks for sharing.
Kelley Frost

Posted 13 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, what a flashback! I was 14 in 1976! My brother loved KISS and they scared the hell out of me. I so enjoyed this trip down memory lane - times were sure different. Your narrative was excellent, and I enjoyed the sarcastic and dry humor!

Great job and thanks!

Posted 13 Years Ago

2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

once again you bring humor to a situation that was more than likely not so funny at the time. Some of my fondest memories, are perhaps the biggest mistakes of my childhood lol. Funny how life works sometimes isn't it? excellent write as always....and , as always, left me with a smile.


Posted 13 Years Ago

4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

I missed the musical revolution -- i was only born in '76... i always say i was born just a little too late - oh well what'cha going to do...
i loved the line when you described the band - creepy clowns and cheap prostitutes - it made me laugh...
enjoyable read.

Posted 13 Years Ago

4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

Hi!! I know it's been a long time. It's been busy/hectic but anyway god this took me a long time to get to. For as long as I have been gone your humor still has not faltered to make me laugh! It's a great story concerning us young ones!

Posted 13 Years Ago

4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

The one thing I can say is that no matter what, KISS will always be one of the most recognized bands, by both name and image, in the history of music.

One thing they did, is they made sure their name was right as a 'logo."

Think about the bands that pop to mind when you think 70's and 80's, etc. and you'll think KISS, Def Leppard, ZZ Top... and your mind tends to flash the Logo Name image of the band, and then the band faces... well, for KISS and ZZ Top.

It's all in the name and the look.

They might resemble freaks and cheap crossover streetwalkers to some, but I've always seen them as a group that created an identity and made a ton of money.

The best part about their look, and even ZZ Top, is that you could do a 100 year reunion tour and substitute 20-year olds in there for them and no one would know! LMAO Who the heck could see under the face paint and beards, eh?!? LOL

I think they might have planned far, far ahead for that one. LOL

Posted 13 Years Ago

3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

great 15 now

Posted 14 Years Ago

4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

A wonderful testament to the perils of our youth, I'll admit to missing out on "kiss" but I was able to catch a few of the other greats though. After reading tis, I felt like I never really missed them at all, you took
me there in the honest, humorous and engaging manner that only you can do.

Another excellent read, T.

(I do apologize for my delay in getting here, still trying to navigate around here since the improvements)

Posted 14 Years Ago

4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

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57 Reviews
Added on February 19, 2008
Last Updated on October 24, 2010


T. L. O'Neal
T. L. O'Neal

In the sticks, NC

I started writing as a way to work out my feelings and found that I enjoyed it very much. I enjoy humor and feel that you can find it in most things, even though it may be hard to find at the moment. .. more..


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