Fireworks

FIREWORKS

 

Cascading diamond colors

Floating down from heaven;

Children, fathers, and mothers

Gazing up at the evening;

Exploding sight and sound,

Highlighting the crowded park;

Sitting quietly, on the ground,

Waiting for beauty, in the dark;

The sky alive with stars,

Falling to earth in patterns,

Like fireflies in jars;

Excitement, while the lamp burns;

The gleaming shower ends

And everyone travels home;

Again, reality begins,

When the fireworks are gone.

Author's Note

I love fireworks and the Fourth of July! I got married on the Fourth of July to my second husband; the best part of the marriage, other than my kids!!

Reviews

[emmajoy]

' The sky alive with stars, Falling to earth in patterns, Like fireflies in jars; '

what a great description, absolutely lovely. I think this is an exciting as well as wonderful write about fireworks, about the day .. your words are like another celebration of a sky filled tribute.

[An owl on the moon]

For those moments there is such a vibrant world of color and screaming sounds... absolutely wondrous! Excellent write with that tinge of sadness that comes at the end...

[Mike Espinosa]

This is pretty cool. Your imagery was spot on - I could see it all in my head vividly. Very good metaphor use as well. very well done.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

How wonderful...alas even the fireworks must fizzle out leaving only bits of burned paper in their wake...but they sure are pretty while they last! I love setting them off! Great poem!

[Miranda Caitlyn]

I loved this! When you wrote ''Again, reality begins, When the fireworks are gone'' is so realtable in many ways. I love it, great job!

[Charles]

This is a nice, tight poem with a single theme that flows well beginning to end. There is enough irregularity in the meter to call it to attention (an added word here or taking one out there would smooth it out without disrupting the flow). The rhyming is good if one accepts home/gone and ends/begins (I do, so this is no problem for me - one who doesn't do a lot of metered, rhyming poems). If I had but one criticism to make, it would be that the poem is a bit pedestrian... deals with a common topic in language whose imagery is not overly strong. A lot of poetry that is done this way jumps off the page with injection of a few more metaphors and some good analogies - some more colorful descriptions. The idea of explosions and fireflies goes only so far, when a little effort (maybe a lot of effort) would push the poem to the next level. Still, the other reviewers are right, this poem evokes the happy days of youth and the touch of sadness we all feel after the grand finale. :-)

[R. Nella]

I too love fireworks. Although I regularly attend public displays (I work on some), it's actually the small fireworks, and getting together with the neighbours on November 5th which I enjoy most. Sadly the local economy doesn't allow for really spectacular public displays showing off what can be done with fireworks, because some of it is truely amazing.

Large display or at home, when it's over, I always have a feeling of emptiness. That came across well in the poem.

[Ellen Hammond]

You have captured both the excitement of fireworks and the feeling many have when the fireworks are gone. This lovely poem has good rhyme and flow and the first time I read it, I thought only of actually fireworks. But, after reading your Author's note, I read it again and saw it more as a metaphor of a relationship. Maybe I am reading too much between the lines.

All in all, a very well penned poem.

[deeps]

This is wonderful and an amazing flow as well

[ettorney]

You know. Your poem hit the nail on the head. Especially the last line. I hate that feeling after a fireworks show. I always feel so let down.

[Ed Hart]

and just beyond them, for those who pause outside the city lights, those other "fireworks" announce that we are children of all that...