My Secret Hell

My Secret Hell

A Poem by Christina May Shanaberg
"

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words burn me, repeatedly!

"

My Secret Hell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I live within my secret hell,

A place I know quite well;

A place within my mind,

Surrounded by words unkind.

 

How can someone claim love,

When his words are unlove;

Is this man really a devil,

Because his words are so evil.

 

Sticks and stones I prefer

To the ugly words of a lover;

Once, clinging to me, lovingly;

Now, hurling at me obscenity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you spread your dirt,

I am left to wallow in hurt;

The lava of your words tries

To burn me on my insides.

 

You may have not struck me,

But your filthy words hold me;

You've planted pain in my head

That makes me feel very dead.

 

You are gone, but your words

Live on, so long afterwards;

I wish, now, that I could tell

Words to send you to your

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2011 Christina May Shanaberg


Author's Note

Christina May Shanaberg
The words of verbal abuse never go away! Verbal abuse is against the law in the State of Ohio; no one is ever arrested and, so, never prosecuted.

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Featured Review

I was recently unfriended because I tried to tell someone the importance of their words...how words are an extension of the inner self...A proverb says "Out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks." We must guard our lips as we guard our hearts and I think we should guard our pens, our word processors and keyboards just the same. I am not speaking of using profanity to depict a profane character in a story. Words are tools of a writer to shape a depiction of art...not all art is pretty but the finished product should have a message and not simply be profane for profanity's sake. Also, words can lend realism to subject matter in its depiction. Of course, this is my idealism and I don't expect everyone to wholeheartedly agree with my opinions. But to say hurtful things, to curse for the sake of cursing or even to argue for the sake of argument is detrimental to the mind, heart and spirit. And it shows a marked lack in ability of expression and intellect in my opinion. It is like a person who once said (to defend their vulgar behavior) "it's only human nature"...but I believe that "human nature" is not the standard which one should aspire to but rather the base that one should strive to overcome and aspire from. I liked Tommy Lee Jones' take on the matter in Lonesome Dove as the character Captain Woodrow Call...He said, "I won't tolerate rude behavior in a man." That's a fine template for anyone. (smile)

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

My Dear Writing Friend Ayarinarqe Ak’allar(aq) Nalik Uilingiataq,
I sit pondering this write before my fire some place in the Bush; I am not really sure where the dogs and I are nor do I care. As I scribble tonight with pencil I ponder what day is it, I just don’t know. All I know that is in this world of solitude your poem “My Secret Hell” haunts my thoughts, I have mused this poem for weeks. This abuse is to a great extent why I prefer to stay remote and by my self. I trust and love my dogs more than people!
I am blessed growing up a son of a D.V. counselor. And I am aware of verbal abuse from her working with others and from the verbal abuse I have received my self. It is such a sad fact that both men and women can kill the others pneuma with words that slash the other scaring them for years and at time for life.
How do we handle this problem? I guess we have to use the battering as a life lesson. By that I mean set boundaries for our selves that let others know if you are going to think of treating me with verbal abuse I will not put up with it, I will leave. Work at building healthy relationships slowly, so we can see a person’s true color.
Have you ever noticed you can view a person’s soul by watching them when they are under extreme pressure? What pours out of their mouth comes from their wellspring. If it is ugly wellspring my advice is to stay away and not build a relationship with them, and this can only be viewed with a slow building of a relationship. It has been said that a fool gives vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man; do not associate with one easily angered. An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. In short if a person has anger problems don’t bother with them, just turn and walk away. And I think it is important if possible to see how a possible life partner treats their parents. I would not build a relationship with a woman that treated her father ugly; it would be a warning flag.
Time heals. I have chosen to not let any person rob me of my rest at night. So those whom have abused me I pray to the Great Mystery for. I pray that all I would want to happen to a best friend will happen to them. Does this change them, I do not know. But over time it changes me by helping me let go of the hate and hurt inside of me. It takes their power over me away. And I hold to my boundaries, even if it means never seeing them again.
Your write was good, well worth the muse. I hope that you find healing in the deepest parts and others who have been so abused find healing as well.

Blessings, Laughing-Bear


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very powerful poem! Well penned with great flow! Abuse is something no one should have to go through. Your poem expresses real emotions!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

From experience a person's words leave everlasting scars. What you say can have such a impact on another's life and in the heat of the moment it may not seem like it is harsh but always consider the matter. The same goes for even friends. It is always good to stay on the better side of the fence than to leap over and completely ruin something that might be so wonderful. That might not make no sense but it is ever so true in my line of thinking.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I so agree with you.

Physical pain is something that will go away eventually, if not today, tomorrow, if not tomorrow, the day after that..

But the mental abuse, the hate- filled words, the spiteful sentences, go deep inside and carve out your heart from the core.
The pain won't go away. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not Ever.

beautiful poem.
great read.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I recently had to deal with someone like this, and still trying to push them out of my life for what they do to me. I know I'm not alone. This is amazing, I loved this write. Nicely done, and dark. Great write!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Words can do great damage. I learn from a wise Grandfather. "Nothing good to say. Say nothing." You told a sad story in this poem. Hard to escape and harder to forget. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I was recently unfriended because I tried to tell someone the importance of their words...how words are an extension of the inner self...A proverb says "Out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks." We must guard our lips as we guard our hearts and I think we should guard our pens, our word processors and keyboards just the same. I am not speaking of using profanity to depict a profane character in a story. Words are tools of a writer to shape a depiction of art...not all art is pretty but the finished product should have a message and not simply be profane for profanity's sake. Also, words can lend realism to subject matter in its depiction. Of course, this is my idealism and I don't expect everyone to wholeheartedly agree with my opinions. But to say hurtful things, to curse for the sake of cursing or even to argue for the sake of argument is detrimental to the mind, heart and spirit. And it shows a marked lack in ability of expression and intellect in my opinion. It is like a person who once said (to defend their vulgar behavior) "it's only human nature"...but I believe that "human nature" is not the standard which one should aspire to but rather the base that one should strive to overcome and aspire from. I liked Tommy Lee Jones' take on the matter in Lonesome Dove as the character Captain Woodrow Call...He said, "I won't tolerate rude behavior in a man." That's a fine template for anyone. (smile)

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I said this a many times. I'd rather the one I love take a baseball bat and beat me than to cut me down with her tongue. Words don't heal like physical wounds do. Anyone else besides her could say whatever they wanted and it wouldn't faze me but it's different when the the one that you love and trust is verbally abusive. It is a learned behavior and I'm sure we have all been guilty of it at one point or the other. Thank you sharing this very thought provoking write. It was for me because I've really been working on my abusive ways. It took me along time to realize that I had a problem but when I did and started to make the change, my relationship drastically improve. Thanks again..xx Great ending as well btw.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Verbal abuse as well as physical abuse is learned sometimes from the people they thought loved them. It can hurt our very soul but sometimes it may be nescessary to get some professional help in order to get rest to our body and mind so we can move on in life. Very good write!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I know the feeling. When words are used as weapons, they not only hurt, but leave wounds as well. Most everyone gets angry from time to time and lets their tongue get away from them, but some do it as a matter of routine.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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818 Views
10 Reviews
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Added on September 28, 2011
Last Updated on September 29, 2011
Tags: Arguing, Words, Abuse, Verbal Abuse

Author

Christina May Shanaberg
Christina May Shanaberg

Mount Vernon, OH



About
I am a former member of North Shore Writers' Guild in Willoughby OH. I have had numerous poems published and letters. I am, currently, working on a screen play that I hope will interest my cousin-in.. more..

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