The scene

He's lost his temper again. He's mad and he's after me. It's happening again. He shoves me down into the bar stools. My head gets thrown against the wall. I beg. I plea. Please don't hit me! I'll be good! I won't talk! I didn't mean to, make it stop..

It doesn't stop. It never will.

I open my eyes and I'm driving.
Tears pouring down my face. Little triggers I can't erase. Flashbacks. Mini movies I'm forced to watch. Scenes I'm forced to replay.

Please someone make them go away.

Author's Note

Any constructive tips and comments are welcome

Reviews

[Tom Ferlic]

I would begin this passage with setting the scene. Maybe there's some scar that this character is looking at. I would also make this scenario in the past tense. Also the dialogue needs to sound like a real person talking, not just the thoughts of a person.

S**t. "Please...I swear to god just don't hit me! I'll be good!..." You really don't need the ending. However, I do like the line "mini movies I'm forced to watch."

[CK]

Your feedback is wonderful! The thought you put into it and your kindness to take the time to help develop someone you don't even know is breathtaking. Exactly what I'm hoping for here. I truly thank you.
The thing about this writing is, it's not a character. It's not in the past when I see it. It's my truth. My life. I suffer from the flashbacks of PTSD and this is what it's like. A scar to trigger such scenes would be wonderful, I could just cover it up. But sometimes I don't even know what tiggers the memories, that's what happened here. These this are never said out loud. It scares me to speak of what's happened. I find for others like me it's just the same. This is an insight into our personal hell that we keep to ourselves.
I hope I've done an okay job explaining the back story. I guess I didn't realize it was truly just meant for others like me. But again, you taking the time to have read and review it means mountains to me. I thank you deeply.

[Misery]

An interesting start, dear writer. Where does the story go?

[Robert Parlange]

It's a great opening. A good “hook” if you will. You could easily expand this into a short story. You already have a beginning. All you need now is a middle and end.

Keep it going.

[Joydeep Bose]

Can be a very vivid look into domestic violence if extended.